paramour

chapter 23

Damian

I was seriously a mess.

Since that night I... hurt her... I was a complete wreck. True, Chris had told me why he had done what he had done later on, but I still felt awful. Every second I knew that I had hurt her, and couldn't be with her, was torture.

Now, I was walking towards her dorm, expecting her to come with me to hunt. I had asked Kathy to cover for us later in the night, and she had agreed cordially, as giddy about anything as ever, so I suspected Marie hadn't said anything to Kathy about that night. A shudder ran through me just thinking about it. It had to have been the worst thing I had ever done... or possibly would ever do.

This would be very unexpected for her, and I felt horrible. I shouldn't be allowed near her to hurt her again. But I couldn't help yearning for her presence.

I arrived at her door, and could hear a slight shuffling inside. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, collecting myself and putting on a poker face, I knocked on the door.

All noise ceased for a moment before the shuffling on the floor started again, and Kathy announced boisterously, "She'll be out in a minute Damian,"

Anticipation and adrenaline ran through my veins.

I hadn't seen her for days. It was too long for me to handle. But I would have to get used to it anyway... since I would be leaving soon. Everything was wrecked because of Chris's plan... but I admitted it was absolutely necessary; otherwise I would never go through with it.

Then all of a sudden the door opened. And I saw her –Marie.

She looked blank.

Her face held no emotion, though she had deep bags underneath her eyes which I didn't like seeing one bit. Her eyes were empty –as if no soul inhabited her body. I shuddered discreetly, internally horrified. She was almost like this in the beginning ...when I had first met her; a broken spirit. But she seemed worse now.

It was probably because of me.

She most likely hated me even more, and she probably didn't like seeing me here in the least.

Well, it was just as well. I wasn't good enough to have her anyway. She could find someone better eventually, after everything was settled. I knew from the second that Chris had explained himself that she would probably not take me back at the end of this ordeal. But I couldn't help myself aching to have her. She was a part of me now.

Suddenly I heard a tiny gasp escape her lips as she clutched her chest and sides with wide eyes. Within seconds she had her head bowed and she fell to the floor on her knees, gripping her chest and from what I could see only momentarily, a torturous pained expression on her face.

It felt as if I were being lashed severely as I resisted the urge to kneel down beside her and wrap my arms around her. It hurt me to no end to see her like that and to choose not to do anything but watch her suffer. It frustrated me immensely that I couldn't look into her head anymore to see what exactly was wrong with her.

Kathy had crossed the room and knelt down beside her in a heartbeat, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. She really was a great friend to her.

"Marie! Are you okay?"

A moment passed until Marie started to get up, grimacing, an arm still grasped around her ribs.

She attempted to smile at Kathy as she murmured, "I'm fine –don't worry. I think I just need to hunt."

Kathy shot her a disbelieving look, but smiled slightly anyway. I didn't know if I really believed her, but what else could be wrong?

She waved and left us alone, walking back to William who sat on the couch.