I'm saying "I do"....but not for Love

Chapter 27

Jordan's POV

As I stood and held Katy, the epiphany that I had scared me. I had not realized that I had begun to care for Katy as more than just a friend. The longer she sat in my arms crying, the depth of my feelings for her became more obvious. I had told Katy that I was still in love with Khiana, but I knew then that it wasn't true. I may have thought I loved my ex-fiance still, but I thought wrong. You know how I knew that? Because at that moment, that moment, there was nowhere I would rather be than right there with Katy.

I knew that I couldn't divulge my feelings to Katy in the state that she was in. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I would ever have the opportunity to tell her how I felt about her. I had given her my word that I only proposed to her out of convenience and that I wouldn't cause any problems between us. And problems could definitely stem from a romantic declaration on my part.

I didn't even know if Katy felt anything at all for me. She was always so cool and collected when it came to the two of us. She would blush occasionally when I would make small comments. She would talk to me and spend time with me, and seemed to enjoy it, but I knew there was the huge, and probable chance that she just enjoyed spending time together as friends. 

I thought back over the times that Katy and I had made any physical contact. I assumed that she was attracted to me, considering the fact that she had kissed me and didn't seem too bothered by any physical signs of affection that we would show in public during the times that we were playing the roles of the love-struck newlyweds. But I had to admit to myself, it was possible to be attracted to someone and not actually like them.

With those thoughts in mind, I squeezed Katy close to me, wishing that I could take away all of her problems or at least take away the pain that she was feeling.

A sigh escaped Katy as she stood still. "I just don't know how to handle all this," she said again.

"It's all gonna be alright," I replied, hoping my words would be true. I vowed then and there that I would do whatever I had to do to keep Katy happy, even if it meant somethis as drastic as trying to stop the world from spinning.

*****

Katy's POV

I felt safe and secure in Jordan's arms. HIs hand rubbed a soothing circle on my back as he tried to calm me down.

He really is an amazing guy,  I thought. What would I do without him? I'm so used to having him around now that I wouldn't know what to do if he disappeared.

As those thoughts ran through my mind, a naggin realization was prevalent. Jordan had not only become my best friend...He had also wormed his way into my heart. And I cared for him...a lot.

I stiffened when I admitted the depth of my feelings to myself. I knew that Jordan only saw me as a friend. Well, a friend that he was married to, for convenience. He would not--could not--ever have the same feelings for me that I had for him.

Jordan loosened his hold on me as I stepped out of his embrace. I couldn't meet his eyes, scared that he might be able to read my new-found feelings in my own eyes. "Uh, thanks," I mumbled. I kept my head down as I spoke.