I'm saying "I do"....but not for Love

Chapter 23

Katy's POV

The next day at school was a blur. Every time I thought of my upcoming talk with Jordan, my hands got clammy, my breath quickened, and my heart rate accelerated. Nerves. They were killing me. I had a lot to work through this afternoon. Not only were we going to figure out where we stood, but I had an apology on the agenda. 

The night before, while I had been laying on Josie's couch, staring mindlessly at the television screen, I had thought over the events of those previous encounters and situations. The more I thought about everything, the more foolish I looked in my own eyes.

What had I been thinking? I had no right to feel possessive about Jordan. We hadn't gotten married for the same reasons that most couples did. When we repeated our vows, I had been saying "I do"...but not for love. And Jordan had not married me for love, either. It was a convenient decision for the both of us. Jordan's parents had wanted him to get married, but when he and Khiana had ended their relationship, they hadn't gotten their way.

I, on, the other hand, had married him for much different reasons. I had been unhappy at home. I didn't like the life I was living. My parents were not real parents, but more of children in adult-sized bodies. See? Neither one of us married the other because we were in love, because we weren't.

After school, I went straight to work. "Teresa, I'm here," I called as I put my stuff away.

"Over here in the romance section," she replied in her melodic voice. "How are you?"

"I'm doing alright," I said. I walked across the small shop and found my boss sitting Indian-style on the floor, books in a pile around her. "You look like you've been busy."

"Oh I have, dear," she said. "I had a customer in here a few minutes ago who was...well...a little on the strange side. She was looking for a romance novel, but didn't know the title of it. She apparently saw it in here at some point and recently decided she wants it. So she pulled out every book on the shelves so that she could look at the covers."

"Wow," I said. "Sounds like that was interesting. Did she find the book or just waste time?"

"She found it." Teresa slid some books back onto the shelf and pushed her hair out of her face. "After thirty minutes, and pulling out every single book."

I laughed softly. "So besides frustrated, how are you?"

"I'm doing fairly well," she said. "How was your talk with Jordan?"

I joined her on the floor, handing her the books to put away. "It didn't happen. Khiana was at home when I got there."

"As in Khiana, the ex-fiance?" she asked. Her eyebrows, the same ginger shade as her hair, were raised in surprise and confusion.

"The one and only. Needless to say, Jordan and I didn't talk."