If I Can't Have You

Act 1 - Part 3

Nick

"Nick! What the fuck are you doing? You scared the shit out of me!" Demi practically screamed, at me. The expression on her face was that of disgust & hatred.

"I needed to see you." I said, my voice flat.

"You needed to see me? There's no reason you would need to see me. How the fuck did you get in here anyway?"

"I still have a key."

She sighed, rolled her eyes & clicked her tongue, all at the same time. "You need to hand it over & then you need to fucking leave." She walked toward me, holding her hand out, for me to give her the key. "Give me the key then get the fuck out of my life, for good. We're done. I don't want to see you again." Demi had one hand on her hip, her other hand palm side up & the look on her face was so smug & bitch like, that I felt something snap, once again.

I pulled the gun out from behind me, where I had it tucked into my waistband & held it up, careful not to point it at her. She jumped back, yelping & gasping, simultaneously. "I'm not leaving." I said, my voice sounding menacing, all the sudden & I wasn't even trying to sound that way. I almost laughed, because it was as if the gun made me sound like a villain. I'm glad I didn't laugh, because I definitely would have seemed crazy.

"Nick... why do you have a gun?" She asked, her voice shaking & her body, trembling, ever so slightly.

I took a deep breath & looked at the gun, in my hand. I couldn't even answer her question, because I didn't know the answer. Why did I have a gun? Did I plan to use it? Was I trying to scare her? Was I just wanting her to listen & I knew this was the only way she would? I shrugged my shoulders & let out a chuckle. "I don't even know." I replied, now my voice sounding maniacal. "If I can't have you..."

"What the fuck does that mean? Did you come here to fucking kill me?" She asked, her voice angry, now.

I looked at her face, that was not only angry, but also scared, as she kept her gaze on either the gun or my face. Her face was so beautiful, even in fear. I used to love to watch her sleep because she would be so still, I could memorize every part of it. I knew every freckle, every dimple, every curve of her flawless face. Now, I thought about her question. Did I want to kill her? Did I really come here to hurt her? Sure, the thought popped into my head. Sure, I had a fleeting thought of shooting her, then myself, so we could be together, in the afterlife. Sure, I had an insane thought that I'd rather her be dead than be with someone else.

Now, sanity was creeping back into my brain & I realized I could never hurt her. However, I knew if I didn't have this gun, she would be calling the police or shoving me out her front door & telling me to never contact her again. I swallowed. "I didn't come here to kill you, but if you don't want to listen, then I have no problem taking us both out of this world." I lied, but when I saw her shiver & close her eyes, I knew I had control & I liked it. This was the first time I felt in control, for months.