I'd Rather Be Black & Blue, Than Accept That You Withdrew | tronnor

Chapter Nine

WARNING ⚠ NON CONSENSUAL ACTIONS

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Despite the bruises that started to show up on Troye's body and the nights spent of Andrew yelling at him and calling him insults, Troye always told himself.

He loves me.

Despite the holes in the walls from angry fists getting thrown into them and the blood stains on the carpet and the shattered mirror in their room from when Andrew slammed Troye's head into it, Troye always told himself.

He has to love me.

Sure, he wasn't the most handsome boy in the world; and yeah, maybe he hasn't grown since he was thirteen. He couldn't give Andrew the world and he's still trying to make a life for himself. But he can love with all of his heart and he can make sure that the people in his life knew that. He can dedicate his life to Andrew and he can love him with all that his little body can offer.

He didn't feel like enough.

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Troye needed someone to talk to because it was all starting to pile up inside of him and he didn't know what to do. He would talk to Andrew but they barely talk anymore. He wanted to call Tyler but he didn't want to bother him with his pathetic problems.

He wanted, with all of his heart, to call Connor. But as he was dialing his number, he couldn't help but begin to cry. So he called the one person he knew he could always count on.

"Tokkie!"

He smiled softly at the voice on the other end of the receiver. "Hi, mum." He bit back the tears that began to burn his eyes and cleared his throat slightly.

"We were beginning to think you forgot about us." She laughed quietly, and he made sure to remember that sound and tuck it somewhere in his heart so he can remember it on days he couldn't laugh himself. "We all miss you so much."

Troye took a shaky breath. "I miss you all too."

"The kids will love to hear from you, baby. Let me get them." He heard rustling and voices talking on the other end. "Sage! Tyde! Come talk to your brother!"

"Troye?" Two voices exclaimed in unison. His heart felt heavy when he heard them, when he pictured the smiles that were on their faces.

"You're on speaker."

"Hi, guys." Troye spoke softly. "I miss you."

"We miss you too, Tokkie." Sage replied. "I need my little cuddle buddy back." Troye laughed softly.

"How are you, Troye?" Tyde asked. "How's living with Andrew?"

"It's-" He took a deep breath. "It's going really well." His voice sounded strained.

It was quiet on the other end. "Talk to us, baby." Sage spoke quietly. "We're here for you."

"I know." His voice got squeakier as the tears began to run down his cheeks.

"Let me talk to Troye." His mum demanded, making them groan and yell their 'I love yous' before he was left with his mum. "What's going on?"

"I don't know." He rubbed his eyes roughly with his hand. "I don't know if he still loves me." He sobbed loudly. Laurelle cooed on the other end.

"Baby, anyone would be crazy not to love you." She soothed.

He rolled his eyes. "I just don't feel like enough." He whispered. "It's gotten so tense around here and I hate it."

She sighed sadly. "When it gets to be too much, come over here. No matter what happens, don't ever feel like you don't have a place to go."

"I know."

"Couples fight, Tok. If you two really loved each other you'll always find a way to work it out."

"I love you."

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Troye's eyes snapped open when he felt the bed dip behind him. He groaned and turned around slightly. "You're home late." He heard Andrew let out an irritated breath.

"Am I under interrogation?" He snapped, making Troye flinch and shy away from his touch. He shook his head slightly, flinching when strong arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He hissed quietly when they pressed on a bruise.

"Don't hold to tight."

"Shut the fuck up and stop complaining." Troye blinked away the tears in his eyes and tried to block out the pain.

"I'm sorry." It was quiet for a few moments. He felt Andrew's arms slide lower on his body. He gasped when he felt lips attach onto the back of his neck. He squirmed away. "Not tonight." The movements stopped, until Andrew placed tangled his hand into his hair and pulled roughly. Troye cried out and Andrew bit harshly into the skin of his neck, definitely breaking the skin and drawing blood.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want." He whispered into his ear. He pinned Troye's body beneath his, making Troye panic. Andrew smashed his lips roughly onto Troye's, swallowing his cries with his tongue. Troye tried to push him off but he was too strong.

Troye wasn't strong.

"Andrew, please stop." Troye begged; but his cries were useless. Andrew started to unbutton his jeans, roughly yanking them off of his legs and throwing them to the side. Troye was sobbing loudly, body shaking with fear.

"Shut the fuck up!" Troye flinched and moved a hand to cover his mouth, silencing his cries. He whimpered when he felt cold fingers poke at his entrance. He cried out in pain when two of Andrew's fingers roughly entered him without lube. He bit his lip roughly as Andrew whispered in his ear.

"It hurts." He whimpered weakly. He sobbed loudly when he came a couple of minutes later when Andrew's fingers brushed up against his prostate.

"You're a slut." Andrew spat, moving to take off his own pants. Troye stood lying down lifelessly, body shaking and mind ashamed. 'It's all you'll ever be." He felt Andrew lay down next to him, and soon he heard the quiet snores that came from the boy. Troye curled himself up and moved as far away from Andrew as possible, covering his mouth with his hand to silence his sobs and whimpers.