Always

Chapter 39

"Something's happening inside me. Is this the feeling of being broken?"
-- Shan Lee

Alex (girl)

Allen knelt infront of me holding my arms. Tears just won't stop falling. They just kept swellimg in my eyes.

"Sshh, I know. I know," Allen cooed while wiping the tears with his hand.

He's been extra caring since Kevin told him what was happening. I feel fortunate to have them, so fortunate.

He reached out to hug me and I just let him. I badly needed a hug but Kevin has been keeping his distance. Hindi nagsasalita sa Kevin sa likod ko.

I can't make him be my boyfriend. alam kong mahirap pero kailangan ko talaga nito.

Allen let go of the hug and smiled putting a tendril of hair behind my ear.

"Thank you," I smiled genuinely.
"No problem," he smiled back and stood up going to Kevin's side. I take that as a cue to get going. Kailangan ko pang pumunta sa faculty.

Papunta na ako doon nung nakita ko si Kamie. I'm so happy to see her that I squeeled literally.

She came rushing my way and hugged me tightly. i'm so happy to see her.

"Why do you look like that?" She asked her voice muffled.

I was about to speak but then she cut me off.

"Later, I'll wait for you in the studio at 2," and took off.

May gagawin din naman ako so I went my way too.

When I arrived at the faculty, the door was ajar so I peaked through and saw our teacher sitting.

"You wanted to talk ma'am? Sorry po kanina," I simultaneously said.

"It's okay. You see, we have this band in school they're forming and we just can't find a suitable vocalist. We want you to be the vocalist. Bring your guitar tomorrow and meet all your band memebers. You'll be the leader," tuloy tuloy niyang sinabi.

"Sige po," what was I thinking? Bakit ako umoo?! Oh god!!!

"Band room, 6 pm tomorrow," she said. I nodded and left with a freaking unreadable face. What the fuck did I just agreed myself into?

I'm really loosing my mind.

--

"What?!" Kamie screamed when I told her my situation. "What the fuck is wrong with you? All of you?! Pati si Kevin? Sinali niyo pa si Allen? What the hell were you all thinking?!" Her hands came flying in the air.

I just sat infront of her clearly embarassed.

"Nangyari na to noon ah! I don't want everyone of you destroying everyone's lives," she puffed bringing out her cell.

Panic started rising out my mouth, "What are you doing?" I stood up grabbing her cell. "Please listen to me Kamie, nahihirapan din naman ako sa sitwasyon namin eh. Pero intindihin mo dn naman na hindi ko rin ginusto to. Alex will lose his music life if I didn't do that. It's hurting me too you know?" I said, tears pricking my eyes.

I really don't want to talk about this, my feelings, what I really feel pero kung papabayaan ko lang na sasabihin niya yun kay Alex, mawawala lahat ng pinaghirapan ko. And worse is, baka lalo siyang masaktan.

Kamie didn't talk, she just sat down behind me and scoffed. "Fine Alex, I'll let this slip but the moment I see you really hurting, ako na mismo ang magsasabi kay Alex," she warned me.

I just nodded in response, loosing words at this.

What am I going to do if Alex will know about this? I've never really thought about it until now. No, hindi ko hahayaang malaman niya, no matter what it takes.

"Alis na pala ako this week," bigla siyang nagsalita.

"Really? Ang aga naman," I said sitting down beside her.

"Oo nga eh, ewan ko ba kay mama. I want to have a dinner with you guys," pag-aaya niya.

"Sure," was all I can say.

Everything seems to be bothering me lately. Hindi ko na alam ang aggawin ko sa totoo lang. Kamie was just staring at me clearly a bit pissed at me. hindi ko siya masisisi kasi alam kong masyadong selfish ang naging desisyon ko.

Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin and lest the room. I can't deal with this right now. My head is literally pounding. Gusto ko nang umuwi. Gusto ko munang matulog. I'm so tired of crying and making things worse.

On my way home, nakasalubong ko si Allen. "Going home?" he asked. "Yeah," I answered not wanting to make the conversation longer. "Hinihintay ka ni Kevin sa labas," he nodded and left.

Umalis siya na hindi ko manlang natanong kung anong ginagawa niya doon at bakit niya ako hinihintay.

The moment I stepped out of the school grounds, pinagsisihan ko agad ang ginawa ko..

**

Hi guys, sorry for the long wait. I'm just trying to figure out what to do para hindi masyadong mahaba tong Always kasi may dalawa pang kasunod na libro pero I hope you understand. Thank you for continually reading my book. please vote thank you :)

ghen<3