Delirious

Meaningless Love

The room was quiet, the only sounds being my heavy breathing as I fought the onslaught of my thoughts, my pain and emotions waging war inside my mind. The chair was hard, uncomfortable, but I was numb to all physical pain. All I could do was stare forward, looking at the empty desk in front of me, with yet another chair sitting across from me. This was where we had our first kiss, in this deserted classroom. This was were he said he loved me, that he wouldn't ever let me go. 9 words, "I love you,".."I won't ever let you go"..all lies.

I flinched as I heard the door creak open, looking up to see a figure enter the room. It was him...the one who I love..the one who broke me.

"I knew I would find you here," He said laughing slightly to himself, "Look, you need to stop playing poor me. Stop acting like you are hurt just to get attention, we are all sick of it. Plus, it isn't making me look very good."

I narrowed my eyes as he sat himself down in the chair across from me, a coy smile plastered on his face, "See? I have you figured out. I know you aren't actually hurting." He said with a laugh, placing his hands on the desk and leaning forward, "Give the act up"

"What act?" I questioned, shaking my head slightly as I looked at him, "You think this is an act? That I'm not actually hurt? Listen here, you don't know a thing about how I'm feeling. You have it easy, you easily get good grades, you easily get friends, you easily make it into sports teams, heck, you even get girls and break up with them easily." I scoffed, staring into his blue green eyes, watching confusion slowly dawn inside of them. "But me, I have nothing. Yet when you came around, I thought I had something. You let me fall into your trap and you let me fall in love with you..and fall hard. Yet you so easily just threw me away, you so easily stole my heart and ripped it in half as if it was paper"

"It's just a high school relationship, stop making such a big deal of it." He said, somehow still laughing. His laugh...the laugh that always made my heart soar..and I knew my heart would be soaring right now..if he hadn't tore it into shreds.

"You know, in ten years I may think it was stupid for me to love you...for me to be hurting. But the thing is, that's in ten years, right now I'm in pain, right now I'm suffering and its all your fault, yet you don't even fucking care" I said, feeling my eyes start to tear up "All you care about is your reputation, how you look to others."

"I.." He started but trailed off. I took a deep breath, staring at my hands..the hands that were once held by his. I shuffled my feet nervously, a stray tear falling down my face.

"You think it's a game, that you can go around and date all the girls then leave them..with no problem" I said, my voice breaking off as my body starting shaking slightly, silent sobs racking my body. "But you don't realize, that you hurt people. You hurt people and then move on, laughing about it."

"Baby I-"

"Don't think of calling me that now, don't fucking think about it. All you're doing is causing me to feel more, causing me more pain. Just leave me alone! Leave me to suffer, instead of just making it worse. You can't help, you can't. Don't act like you care, because we both know you don't. You just feel guilty, all the words you would say would just be to make yourself feel better." I said, moving my chair back and swiftly standing up, "You broke me. You damaged my heart to the point of no return, I hope you're happy."

I started to move towards the door, hand covering my mouth and not able to conceal the emotions as they came pouring out of me. No longer able to hide my pain, my sadness. It all came flowing out, and I was embarrassed for him to see me like this. I left as soon as I could, not able to bear looking into his blue green eyes again, his aqua eyes. Aqua..my forever favorite color, all because of him. My broken heart..all because of him. My intense pain and suffering...all because of him.

Yet, I still loved him.