Delirious

Duct tape and Elmer's Glue

I was walking the hill side, desperately searching for her. She had to be here somewhere. I saw her hat, not too far back, I knew she went this way...so where did she go?

The sky was gray, streaked with black clouds that were threatening to unleash their might on the Earth. Yet, everything was static, unmoving. Not even a gust of wind disturbed the grass, everything was just so...still.

So still I almost overlooked her, sitting only feet from an cliff on the massive hill. So still..blending in with nature almost perfectly. Didn't she realize how dangerous it was? The sky was at the verge of unleashing a storm upon on us, and here she sits..so close to something that with one wrong step..could mean death.

"Sierra?" I asked, running up to her, cautiously slowing down as I neared the edge, standing right next to her form.

"Zack. What are you doing here?" She asked, turning her head to face me. My breath stopped when I saw her, tears staining her face and a dull red surrounding her eyes.

"I had to know if you were okay...apparently you're not" I said, automatically wondering if by pointing out that she was crying was a mistake. She bit her lip slightly, as she always did when she was thinking something over, and let out a small, forced and choked laugh.

"You know," She said, breathing in slowly, "I used to cry myself to sleep. Every. Single. Night. Eventually I realized that I had to put myself back together somehow, use something to hold the pieces together. I used whatever I could, but basically I was holding myself together with duct tape and Elmer's glue." She made a slight pause, giving yet another small, strained, and pain filled laugh. "The problem with that is after enough movement and abuse, it comes undone."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, sitting down next to her. I had always dreamt of a moment like this..sitting next to her on a grassy hillside, just the two of us. But I never ever wanted it to be with her crying.

The tears were out of place on her, she had always held this smile that dazzled anyone and everyone. I wanted to wipe the tears off her face, to somehow make her smile again. I wanted her to be happy.

"Everything I used to hold myself together left..came undone. Leaving me falling apart and broken. The crappy part is, as the pieces hit the ground, they break into more pieces." She said, narrowing her eyes slightly at the grass She was taking sharp intakes of breath, obviously trying to control the tears.

"Let me help you," I said, placing my hand on top of hers. She quickly moved her hand away from mine and looked over at me again. All I could see in her green eyes was pain, agonizing pain.

"You can't. There are too many pieces, too many pieces to put together..too many pieces to pick up. I'm shattered Zack, shattered. Unfixable." She responded, placing her head in her hands and sobbing out cries of misery.

Her pain was radiating everywhere, and it was killing me to see her like this. She wasn't broken..she was perfect. But I didn't know how to make her see, how to make her understand that I cared about her..that she did have someone. I could be her glue, I would be anything she wanted me to be, and I would never leave....never come undone.

"When something is this broken... people just throw it away" She sighed, her fingers tangled in her hair, "Just throw it away...because it's unfixable. Because it's useless."

"You're too valuable for that," I whispered, desperately wanting to wrap my arms around her..to comfort her somehow. After that, the only sounds were her heavy breathing and occasional whimper of pain. Minutes passed this way...but they felt like hours. I was straining not to hold her tight, to tell her I loved her, that she was perfect..absolutely perfect. The clouds rolled by calmly, still threatening, yet they looked so peaceful. So still.