Promise I Will

prologue

Hitting the wall with my palm, and screaming out vulgar words. Tears burning my skin as it slides down my face, running long my jaw line then falling to the ground. Pound by pound, I keep my violent actions going. I didn't even know what I was so mad for. Maybe I did.

School. The false advertisement for student education. All I've ever been taught, is that you can't trust anyone. No one. They either let you down or use you against yourself. They tear you apart piece by piece, for information, leading you to believe they are all mighty, and then they crush you.

That guy you had a crush on for a while. Don't trust him. You want to know the secret behind the name Crush? They crush you. They crush your heart and anything else that can feel a slight bit of pain.

They make you wish you were a starfish that lived under a rock down in bikini bottom. Or an anchor on a boat that fell to the bottom of the sea with no chain to help you slow down. Or a tear plummeting to the ground after it falls from your face.

Not only does school lead to pain and heartbreak. It's annoying and boring, and not to mention if you're not popular then your screwed. You get yelled at, and made fun of.

You're such a whore.

Go kill yourself.

Slut.

Why are you like that?

And if you try to answer back, your invalid. Like forgetting your password to something and you keep getting that message that either your password or username is invalid, but in this case - it's only you that is wrong. You get shot down like with a bullet piercing through your heart. You get kicked in the shins creating bruises instantly.

Physically the comments don't hurt, but emotionally they do. They tear each shred of hope, of getting through their day into a million pieces.

And last but not least, the worst thing about school is that it can get physical. Sometimes worse than others, but it's all the same when you're used to it. The shoves that are forced into your side. The bruises you get from being pushed into a locker. The indents that the locks on the lockers leave on your skin. Your big body cramming into the little space meant to hold your books.

The punches thrown your way, whether it's in your face or your stomach.

This is for being a fag!

This is for being stupid!

A nerd!

UGLY.

SLUT.

They get more intense and harsh as they comments go on. Impacting your thoughts, making a nest so you can repeat them to yourself later and hate yourself further.

FOR BEING YOU.

People say that bully's only bully you cause that's how they handle things. That deep down they are truly hurting, but I think that's all bunches of crap. That's still no reason for making me or anyone else feel bad, because no matter how much they are hurting, I will always hurt more.