Promise I Will

24

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

I might have just found my joy.

My feet slid on the ice, creating snow as I glide. My cheeks rosy and my lips pink. My heart pounds in my chest each time I twirl around, but the smile on my lips never tarnishes. I race across the ice and laugh as I hear Carson curse out behind me.

"What you can't keep up?" I stick my tongue out as I turn around and face his approaching body.

"Oh, shut it." He rolls his eyes and stops. He licks his puffy pink lips and looks up into my eyes.

"Want to go eat? I'm getting kind of cold anyways." I nod and smile as we skate slowly over to the open gap that let people in and out of the skating rink.

As we step out of the rink, I can already feel the heat difference. I brush off my snow-covered knees as I sat down on the unoccupied bench. Carson sat next to me and we unlaced out skates together. I yanked each lace loose and when I could wiggle my foot, I gripped the white skate in my hands and yanked myself free. I did the process over.

I patted the freshly zipped bag and sighed in content. I couldn't help but let a strangled laugh out when my eyes landed in a Carson pulling on his skates like a child struggling.

"Stupid things!" He grunted.

"Need some help bud?" I giggle in a tone as if I was a mother offering her child help.

"I'm a big boy thank you." He muttered under his breath.

"Here." I roll my eyes but still kneel down I front of him and help the struggling boy from his bounds.

"I didn't need your help." He murmurs when we walk out of the arena.

"Yes, I did, or you would have had to tell the man at the rental desk why we couldn't return the damn things." I smile. He shifts his body and gives me an unimpressed face, making me giggle once again.

"Nice to see you in such a happy mood."

"Well, it's not every day that a boy or anyone brings me on a fun activity. I mean, look at me."

He stays silent, like he was sad.

We made our way to the dark vehicle. Not one word spoken. As we got in, I asked where we were going to go to eat and he ignored the question.

From my view I watched as he started the car and we pulled away from the grey building with a bright blue sign saying; 'Skate Away'. Now that I thought about it, it was ironic for him to bring me there.

The ride was spent with loud, obnoxious sighs and a cold forehead from the position I possessed. "Are we there yet?" My butt was hurting due to the amount of times I fell on it.

"Sort of." He said.

I huff out for the fiftieth time since the car started and hold in a groan of impatience. The agony was killing me.

I felt the car slow down and when I looked up we were turning into a parking lot. The building was a large strip mall. We parked I front of a restaurant named 'Nando's'. It was a small section of the large selection of stores and food places. The signup top was large and bright, and the colour was brown and bland.

"Where are we?" I asked, my eyes still scanning the place.

"Nando's, where else?"

I watched him as his smile widened at my look and climbed out of the car. I followed suit and he made his way to my side.

"Their food is great. Have you ever had Nando's?" I shake my head and pout my lip to show I never had. His smile widened and he led me inside. He seemed to me more excited than he should've been. I was just excited to eat and be warm.

* * *

"What are you going to order?" I look at the menu and star blankly. I don't know what any of this is. I look up and turn the menu in my hands.

"I'll have this." I hold in a smile when I point my finger to a random item in the large plastic book.

"Chicken Caesar Wrap?" Carson asks.

"Sure." I shrug, not really caring. I was hungry, I'm sure I would have eaten anything.

"Alright."

"So why did you pick this place?" I asked.

Carson shrugs his shoulder and looks around the room and let's his gaze fall on me. "It's my favourite restaurant. The food is golden."

"May I take your order." A female waitress walks up to us. She wears a white blouse and black pants with a green apron type thing with the name of the place written on it.

"Perry, Perry chicken for me and a Chicken Cesar Wrap for the girl." Carson smiled a white toothy grin.

The woman nodded her blond head and scribbled down the order before asking for our drink of choice.

"Water." I spoke in a small voice.

"Mountain dew."

The woman nodded and left in a swift moment and Carson and I am left alone once more.

"What's one thing you can't live without?" Carson asked with a thoughtful look. His face resting in his hand that was propped into the table.

"Where's this coming from?"

"I don't know, just a question." He raised his brows in suggestion. He was waiting for me to answer.

"Um, I guess I couldn't live without my diary." I say honestly. "I wrote everything in there and it's like the best friend I wish I had." I look in his eyes and smile.

"What about you?"

He thinks for a while and then his face lights up. "I don't know."

* * *

We walked up the path to my home in silence. It was weird to be coming home with a boy. Well, with anyone. I never really had friends before.

Breaking the tension in the air I spoke, "Thank you for today."

The sun was still shining dimly, and I knew I would be bombarded with questions on why I missed classes, but I didn't mind. "I needed it."

"My pleasure." He smiled softly to me.

We paused in front of my door and I breathed a heavy breath. I looked into his eyes and they were bright blue. I found myself staring. The twinkle in his eye took me away.

I felt soft lips on mine and before I could process what was happening, I pressed my lips to the ones on mine. We pulled away and I saw his face was flustered. Mine was probably matching a tomato. I struggled to say anything, due to the fact that I was so flustered at that moment.

"I'll see you at school." Carson spat out in a quick breath.

"Ye-yeah, see you." I stuttered and spun around. I opened my door and tripped on my way inside under the state I was in. When I got inside, I ran up the stairs to my room with my shoes and jacket still on.

As I entered my room, I stripped my heavy outdoor things off and rushed for my diary. I needed to write this down.