Promise I Will

30

Dear diary,

It's been hectic lately. I mean I have so much to tell you. The last thing I said to you was a quote about confusion because I was confused about Carson and I's kiss. Well, I have more to tell you. Just this week was nuts.

Last Friday I was with Carson in his car, and he was grumpy and then told me it was because he was thinking about the kiss. And then we talked and then we kissed again. The thing is, it wasn't like a fairy tale kiss. Our lips touched and our teeth clanked. We both hurt ourselves and it wasn't nice at all. I wanted to cry because it was only my second kiss, and it happened to be horrible.

So after all of that, we just stared at each other like we had seen the other grow a second head. We didn't say anything, and he didn't speak when I turned and left. If I'm being completely honey with you I was hoping that he would yell my name when ugly to my door, get out of his car and come chasing after me and we would share anther more magical kiss but nothing came as I opened the wooden piece if crap.

And that's not all.

So, I spent my entire weekend without a stupid witty text from Carson and when I did get a text it was of him telling me he was outside waiting for me. You would think he would have talked to me once, but he acted as if I went there. And it hurt.

It was like I wasn't around, but I was. Like a ghost in another detention, or a shadow nobody wants around. And of course, this stayed the same way the entire day. Even when he brought me home, he waited for me in the parking lot and dropped me off at home without so much as a full sentence.

On Monday.... Carson wasn't there. Or Tuesday... Or Wednesday.... Or Thursday. I was alone. I didn't even see the other guys. Of right, I forgot tot tell you. Carson had gotten some of his friends to take turns walking me to class and waggling over me like a hawk. It seemed like they abandoned me.

Since Carson nor the other guys weren't there you could imagine that Olivia and Aiden found me. The power couple teamed up to hurt me in a brutally inhuman way. I'm probably over exaggerating, but it I'm sure you would like having this done to you.

On Tuesday, Olivia found me in the change room when I was getting ready for the gym and she dumped my clothes into the toilet. So I had to wear my gym clothes that reeked of sweat all day.

Then on Wednesday, I was walking through the cafeteria I saw Aiden whisper Olivia something. Well, not something as I knew what he told her. She came directly towards me and pushed me down to the ground. Then she poured all the ketchup from its container she found on the table next to me, and it went all over my head and clothing.

I went home early that day.

On Thursday, I was mostly ignored. I was quite surprised when I didn't get stopped by Olivia wanting to hurt me, or Aiden to blow smoke in my face. Of course, the loneliness of the day didn't last very long. When I got outside of the school and started walking through the parking lot to get to the sidewalk and walk home, I was stopped. The world's most evil couple decided to take my bag and threw it onto the fence and let it hang, then pushed me over and I struggled to keep them off but it didn't work. Then Aiden's hands were all over me.

I hated it so much.

I hate that I couldn't do anything.

I hated that it was cold outside.

I hated that Olivia helped him to do it.

I hated that Carson wasn't there to save me.

Most importantly, I hated that I will never be able to forget it.

Carson was back on Friday. He saw the bruises on my wrists. For a boy who didn't care to speak to me, he sure did mind when someone hurt me. He went to the principal's office and I'm just guessing that he told them everything because I was called in at the end of the day and Mr. Anderson tried to get me to talk about my problems, but I couldn't speak. It was like I had swallowed my tongue. He told me that he would call my parents and would schedule a time on Monday to speak to them with me.

I don't know how I feel about that though.

I would tell you a play by play of what happened on the way home and how I walked to Carson's car, and he drove me home in more silence, with no goodbye or anything when I got out, but I had just gotten a text. It's from Carson. He wants me to meet him at the park in five. It's the first time he has said anything other than an order to get me outside, and it's to ask me to meet him at the park at 11:00 at night.

Wish me luck?