Outcast (JohnKat)

Epilogue

What we feared, it happened...

Karkat died on July 15th at the time of 2:34 a.m. Dave had broken down in front of the door when the horrifying endless sound from the heart monitor ringed through our ears. I had fallen to my knees and passed out.

A week later, Dave had gained most of his composure. I couldn't say the same for myself.. I nearly broke down into tears at the mention of his name or his funeral.

We all sat at the kitchen table; Dave, Feferi, Aradia, Eridan, Rose, Kanaya Gamzee, Tavros, and myself. Kanaya, Tavros and Eridan sat on the table though, since they were too small to sit on regular chairs.

"John, you can't keep quiet like this any more..." Feferi spoke. "We understand how you feel, especially me and Eridan. We lost Sollux, and we can help you with Karkat's passing, but you need to cooperate with us."

I didn't speak.

Dave sighed, "Guys, can have a few minutes with John, alone?"

"Of course. Come on, guys." Aradia stood up and led the others out to the backyard. They shut the door, and I could feel Dave staring at me.

"John. Just talk to me... I get it if you don't want to talk to the others, but at least talk to me. I'm your best friend."

I looked at him, "And Karkat was mine. Do you guys seriously fucking expect me to just move on that easily?!"

Dave sat back a little from my tone. "John, don't be a selfish prick! I loved Karkat too as much as you did! And I saw two fucking innocent trolls get murdered right in front of me too! I could've done something, but I didn't do shit... I have to live with that, and I think you can live too with Karkat. He's gone. Deal with it. I have to, too. So does Eridan, Tavros and Kanaya. Feferi and Aradia adored him too. How do you think they feel about being the vets who couldn't save him??? And Tavros? He blames himself for Karkat eating a fucking Lego, but it wasn't his fault at all! You have to stop being a fucking toddler and grow up. It's how life works, John."

I stayed quiet, and I broke down into a fit of sobs. Dave groaned again and hugged me tightly, letting me cry into his shoulder. "Let it out... It's okay..."

"I-I-I've come to terms that h-he's dead, but... It's the fucking drawing and note he left that I can't get over!!! He knew he was going to die the entire time! Why didn't he say anything?! We could of had proper goodbyes."

"Maybe he didn't want to see us cry like we did at the hospital. He wanted us to be happy..."

"It's not fair. He didn't deserve this.. He still had more years even though he had red blood!"

"Calm down..." Dave spoke on a stern voice. "Yelling isn't going to solve anything..."

"S-Sorry..." I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. "I just... I don't understand it.. How could he know..? And it got me thinking. He knew Sollux was going to die too... How could he possibly know that? He was too young.."

"I don't know..."

"And he talked about his family... He knew something about them and he didn't say? That meant he knew his family was dead..." I sniffled, "I just... I can't understand..."

"You don't need to understand. You just have to accept it."

"I'm trying to.." I sighed, "Okay, you can let everyone back in..."

Dave nodded and walked to the back door, telling everyone they could come in now. They all sat back down, and Dave told them about the concerns I had about how Karkat knew everything. Aradia and Feferi both looked to each other before pulling out their phones.