Josh thought he had just fucked up. He let his guard down and for what? For some pretty boy to run off and never come back again?
Josh didn't know exactly why he had acted so vulnerably.
He sighed and stood and Tyler looked up at him.
"I'm...I'm...just...uh...gonna go..." Josh managed to get out. Tyler stood up as well.
"Look I'm sorry...I'm sorry I can't relate but you honestly don't deserve any of that."
Josh gave a fake smile towards Tylers kind words. Josh appreciated it but didn't want it.
Josh walked off leaving Tyler in the woods behind him.
This only left Tyler standing there with a lot of thoughts processing what just went down. Did Josh just openly admit he was gay? "Straight as a circle" Tyler chuckled a little to himself.
Josh was definitely gay. The thing was he didn't come off as gay at all. He seemed so straight. Obviously Tyler was wrong. Sure the dude had pink hair but that doesn't define someone as gay. Though Tyler kind of saw Josh as bi at first.
Josh being gay kinda made him a bit cuter in Tylers mind. Tyler sighed and shook out the thoughts before finally walking out of the woods and heading home.
Josh was home. He walked upstairs avoiding his grandparents. He honestly wished he had someone here with him. He wanted someone. He knew exactly who he wanted.
He knew he couldn't get him though. He wasn't good enough to. Plus he was taken anyways. Josh really had no shot.
Tyler sighed as he finally arrived home and went to his room. He felt kind of bad for Josh. Maybe they could hang out seeing as how it was the weekend and all.
Tyler: Hey wanna hang out tomorrow?
Delivered
Read: 7:43 pm
Josh: yeah sure...
Delivered
Read: 7:59 pm
Tyler: awesome I'll pick you up around 5 tomorrow?
Delivered
Read: 8:03 pm
Josh: yeah see you then
Delivered
Read: 8:10 pm
Tyler smiled and clicked his phone off.
Maybe he could get Josh's mind off things. He felt kind of bad for what he had been through and was really trying to be nice.
Josh smiled slightly at Tylers messages. He thought it was sweet of him.
Sweet.
Just sweet.
Nothing more or less than that.
Although Josh would prefer to think of it as something more he restricted his thoughts knowing it was definitely not anything more than that.
Josh didn't know what he was lusting for. He was finally feeling something other than numbness. It was plain weird.
Josh didn't know what this so called "emotion" is but he wanted none of it.
Somehow feeling numb was better than feeling anything at all.
He sighed and waited for yet another therapy session to roll around. He was far from excited but his grandparents wouldn't let him skip. They thought something was seriously mentally wrong with him. In a way they were right.
Josh banged his head pointlessly on the wall. His grandparents had stripped the house of anything dangerous to him. Anything like knives and stuff were locked up in their room and for the most part they got rid of a lot of the dangerous items.
Josh had been hitting his head so hard he felt dizzy and his head was bleeding. He was just doing it aimlessly not really noticing it. After all what he mostly felt was numbness.
His grandma walked up the stairs and walked into his room.
"He- Oh my god," she said looking at the bleeding bruise on the right side of his head.
Fuck.
Josh bit his lip.
"W-what happened? Josh are you trying to kill yourself? Again? We have been over this," she muttered. She thought she knew everything. She knew nothing.
She couldn't understand. She never did.
He sighed and didn't say anything. He stood up pushing past her and walking to the bathroom.
He quietly and quickly cleaned himself up.
"We will talk about this after you get back...c'mon you're gonna be late to therapy"
And with that she took Josh's hand and walked him to the car and drove him off to his dreaded therapy session.
Josh sighed as he got out and slammed the door. His grandmothers door slammed shut and they walked up to the building together.
The building had a simple modern brick type design. He hated it.
He pulled open the front door and the cool air hit him automatically.
He just had to remind himself it's only an hour and they'll probably wait that out in complete silence.
Just how Josh liked it.
