I awake the next day wrapped in Tyler's arms. I sigh and lay still letting him sleep.
I stared at the blank wall.
Eventually Tyler stirred awake. He rolled over to the other side of the bed leaving me to my own side.
~Tyler~
I woke up and all the memories of the previous night flood my mind.
I roll to the other side of the bed leaving josh on his own side.
I thought of what actually happened last night. I'm just glad I found him. I sighed to myself and I felt Josh (a/n 360 barrel) roll over to my side and wrapped his arms around me.
Admittedly I was a little shocked but it was kind of cute.
"Hey," I said softly. I hear him snicker.
"Hi," he replied.
I rolled over to face him. He smiled and I flashed one back.
"So what are we exactly?" I ask. I didn't want to push anything.
"Uh...I'm not sure...I just don't know if I'm going to be able to emotionally handle a relationship. I just really don't want you to leave me," he says and I nod.
"Just think about it I guess. I seriously don't want to push any boundaries you don't want me to." He nods in agreement.
"Good," I say before standing.
I truly hope he is ok I really worry about him.
"Uh...hey," he says tapping me on my shoulder and I spin around and before I could say anything he connected his lips to mine. I kissed him back smiling a bit into the kiss. He pulls away and rested his forehead on mine.
•
Josh eventually left. I have no clue what we are at this point and I was really confused. I jumped a little at the sudden sound of thunder roared and a storm rolled in.
~Josh~
I sat under the willow tree in the park as the rain began to pour even heavier. I figured it wouldn't mattered if I stayed or not. I don't even know what me and Tyler are anymore. I was just in such a confused mind state. Thunder boomed and the lightning struck and eventually I got used to it. The rain made my clothes cling to my body but I didn't mind it. I let out a heavy sigh as I scratched against my wrists. Out of habit not out of purpose.
I hear my phone buzz with a message but I figured it couldn't be that important. It would safer in my back pocket anyways.
Buzz after buzz. I let it go on and on. I wanted to die. I don't care what Tyler had to say to me. Nothing really changed the fact that i didn't want to have to live my life. I just wanted to die. Jump off a cliff. Do something. The voices wouldn't stop and I couldn't stop them. I just wanted peace and death is where I would find it.
It was all going to end here.
There are no happy endings.
I just wished he could kiss Tyler once again.
Oh well.
I got up. I ran.
I picked up my pace faster and faster as if someone or something was following me.
Tears welled in my eyes as I ran.
I knew exactly where I was going.
I reached the top of the old building that somehow managed to still stand.
The rain poured heavier as I stepped to the edge.
I texted Tyler one last time.
"I love you.."
I texted it and threw the phone off the building and I soon followed.
I fell
And fell
But I didn't hit the ground
•
•
•
I woke up and struggled to catch my breath. I calmed my breathing and everything in front of me connected in my mind.
I heard the heart monitor.
I remember now.
I was on life support.
I must have fallen into some sort of coma.
And Tyler never existed.
It
Was
All
Blurred
In
My
Head
Now
.
