Safe

Chapter 53

(A/N: thank you to everyone who continues to read my story! I know I have been inconsistent with the updates, and for that I apologize. School and final exams and work are killing me! But again, thank you for sticking with me and continuing to read :)

I know I asked this in a previous chapter, but I want to know if you ship Kiall or Kouis? I know which one I'm partial to, but my characters tend to have a mind of their own :p let me know in the comments, and don't forget to vote!)

Louis' POV

I peek around the seat again to see if Niall and Izzie are still engaged in their dead-end tactic of calling Kat on her cell phone. She's not going to answer, I want to scream at them. She's not answering, you're wasting your time. 

Niall's eyes meet mine the second I turn my head to look towards the back. His eyes are burning with a seething fury. He looks crazy; murderous, almost. 

I roll my eyes at him and turn back around in my seat, staring at my phone. I keep my phone on my lap, just in case. I know she won't call, but I have to keep it out in case she does. 

Why did she call Niall? He didn't even want to come get her in the first place. I wonder if she even knows that. I wonder if she knows that the person who she thought loved her didn't even care enough to come get her until it was almost too late. I wonder if she knows that I jumped at the opportunity to come. I wonder if she cares. 

I try and put my mind in Kat's, trying to figure out what she's thinking, what she's doing, where she's sitting, fidgeting with her fingers as she tries to figure out her next move. I imagine her sitting on a bench out on the sidewalk, just outside of the hotel. I'm pretty sure she told Izzie she would stay in her room, but I know her better than that. She doesn't like being told what to do, and the second she is told what to do, she does the opposite. I've always liked that about her. It's frustrating and intoxicating at the same time. She reminds me of myself; a little more than I'd like her to. But that's what draws me in, I think.

Eleanor is just the opposite of me. She's quiet, reserved, does what she's told. Kat.. doesn't. Kat's loud and boisterous and tells it like it is. She doesn't sugar coat for shit and she doesn't expect anyone else to do that for her. She's loud and sometimes she drinks too much and she doesn't trust anyone. Not at first, at least. I wonder why that is. 

The more I think about it, I really don't know all that much about her. I know what her personality is, but I don't know her. The only thing she's ever really talked to me about is her mess of a relationship with Niall. 

My stomach twists as my internal dialogue says the words. Relationship with Niall. Do they even have a relationship anymore? When he was at his apartment he seemed pretty upset. And when I ran into her at the hospital, she seemed more down than ever.

How could I have left her like that? I put my hands over my face and tug at my hair, rubbing my eyes as well. How could I have treated her that way? I told her that I didn't want her in my life anymore. I told her the whole thing that happened at her apartment didn't mean anything. 

What I wanted to tell her was that it meant more to me than I could admit. I wanted to tell her that she was the only one I wanted in my life, and I didn't care if anybody else stuck around except her. I wanted to tell her that she's the most incredible person in the world.

But I was scared. I am scared. My heart tells me one thing, but my head says another. As much as I want to be around Kat and touch her skin and stroke her hair and hold her hand... I have Eleanor. And she has Niall. Or she had Niall. And I had Eleanor. I don't know anymore. Everything is so confusing. My thoughts are swirling wildly in my head, creating a massive whirlwind that keeps knocking me off my feet everytime I think I've gained my balance back.