Safe

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Louis falls back into a heavy sleep and leaves me standing there in the room, trying to decide if I should stay or go. He was just tired, he didn't really want me to stay, right? He didn't know what he was saying.

Even after deciding that Louis is completely asleep, I remain in the room trying to decide what to do. Why would he ask me to stay? I ponder my thoughts for a minute but ultimately decide that I've dealt with enough drama for the night. Sleeping in the same bed as Louis would only add to it unnecessarily.

I walk out of the room as quietly as I can and leave the door open slightly. The living room has completely cleared out, and the after mess of the party litters the entire small space of my apartment. Red cups are strewn randomly on the floor, on the tables, some even on the couch. The lamp I knocked over earlier still lays on the ground in the same spot, and I notice more of our belongings are on the ground as well.

The bottles of alcohol lining the counter are mostly empty, except for a small amount of Jack Daniel's. I prefer tequila over whiskey, but whiskey will do for now. I know I probably shouldn't have anything else to drink, but the happenings of earlier have somehow sobered me up extremely fast, and now all i want to feel is buzzed. I want to feel something other than hurt. 

I shuffle over to the kitchen and swipe the bottle off the counter, making my way back to the couch and taking a seat. I put the bottle to my lips and take a long, burning swig of the liquid, and my blood immediately feels warmer. The TV is directly in front of me and my reflection stares back at me, judging me. I grab the remote and flick the TV on so that I don't have to see her stupid face.

An old episode of Friends comes on the TV. I sit and watch the rerun that I've seen a hundred times mindlessly, taking swigs of whiskey every so often. I look at the clock, and it reads 2:52. My eyes feel exhausted, but my body is too wired to sleep. My head is pounding, probably from the ridiculous amount of crying I have done tonight already.

Why would Niall do that? Why would he kiss Anabelle? It doesn't make sense to me. I deserve an explanation. I shouldn't have kicked him out, because I want to know what the hell happened and why he was in the hall kissing her of all people.

The alcohol clouds my judgment and I decide to find my phone and give Niall a call. I find it stuck between the cushions of the couch and dial in Niall's number. I don't care how late it is.

He picks up on the third ring.

"Kat?" He sounds tired, but alert at the same time.

"Why would you kiss her?" I ask, giving him no time at all to think. "Why would you do that, Niall?"

"I didn't kiss her Kat, I swear. She kissed me. The second you walked out she kissed me and I didn't have time to push her off before you came out. Kat, you have to believe me. I swear I wouldn't do that to you." He sounds genuine, but I still can't get the image out of my head of her lips on his.

"I can't stop thinking about it," I admit. "I can't get it out of my head."

He's silent.

"I'm sorry," he finally says. "I'm so sorry."

I don't know what else to say to him. I'm still upset, because that image keeps playing over and over in my mind, and then I remember his fight with Louis. "Why did you punch Louis?"

"I.. I was frustrated," he answers.

"Frustrated at what?"

"That he was in there with you, and that you wouldn't talk to me."

"So you were frustrated at me? Should that anger have been directed at me then?" I know I'm being ridiculous asking him this, but I can't help but think that he only punched Louis out of frustration for what I was doing.