Fixing You

Salt Water

Chapter 8

Salt Water

Umawang ang aking labi habang tintingnan ang babaeng iyon na naglalakad papalayo sa akin, Her waist dance as she walks together with her long dress, pati na rin ang kanyang mahabang buhok ay sumasama sa pagsayaw. Napalunok ako nang makita kong nagform ang kanyang butt, I looked away.

Damn it.

Lalaki din ako, alright! Hindi ko din makakaila ang kanyang ganda but... Let's just say, I have my own taste. Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay sasaludo kaming mga lalaki kapag nakakita lang ng magandang babae. Iba iba ang aming tipo, You may be pretty but you're not pretty enough to wow me.

Standards and taste makes up my ideal woman. And of course... kung gusto ko ba talaga ito. Maybe the cardiac muscle has the lead, too. Kung saan... at sino ito titibok, That's my woman. I took a deep breath and pursed my lips as I brought my eyes to the sky, Tuluyan nang lumubog ang araw at ang langit ay nagkukulay bughaw na.

Umihip ang medyo malamig na hangin, The sound of the waves crashing the shore reigned the whole place. Katahimikan ang bumalot sa buong lugar. People would really be relaxed on their stay here, After all, iyon naman talaga ang dahilan kung bakit sila pumunta rito, To relax.

Napapikit ako at sinuklay ang aking buhok, Medyo dumilim na ang buong kalangitan. Napatingin ako sa inupuan ko kanina, The lights were already on around the vicinity. Medyo nahagip pa ng mata ko ang mga light bulbs na nagkakalat sa halos buong lugar. I licked my lips and faced the sea, Lumapit ako ng kakaunti sa dagat at tiningnan ko ang aking paa habang hinihintay na mabasa ito dahil sa paghampas ng tubig sa dalampasigan.

The water crashed on my feet and I watched it leave as my feet dwell in wetness of the salt water. Napangiwi ako, Dumampi lang ang maiinit na tubig ng dagat sa aking paa and soon left my feet, soaked and all wet. Para itong pangyayari sa buhay ko na nagiwan lang ng sakit at iniwan din ako kalaunan, umalis ng ganun ganun lang. Things that only passed by, People that only stayed for awhile, and leave me just like that.

She was the best example of it. Ang taong inakala kong mananatili hanggang katapusan pero hindi pala. Maybe that's it... We already predicted the future that's why we ended up like this... Masyado kong pinangunahan ang lahat kaya ganito ang nangyari. I imagine her and me—us, building a family and living a happily ever after.

Plinano ko na ang lahat, sigurado na ako sa kanya e. Siya na talaga, siya lang talaga. But maybe, totoo nga ang sinasabi nila na kung ano pa ang gusto mo ay iyon pa ang hindi mabibigay sa'yo. Pinangunahan ko ang lahat, nagsalita ako ng tapos, Ayan... sinupalpal ako ng tadhana na mali ako, mali ang nararamdaman ko, mali ang lahat ng mayroon kami. I can bear with that anyway, I can bear being wrong as long as she thinks it was right. I can bear breaking the fate that was given to us as long as she wants me, too. Kaya ko siyang ipaglaban, kaya kong maghirap para sa kanya, I can offer her the world, everything... Pero ayaw na niya.

Anong magagwa ko doon? Anong laban ko sa pagibig na kumupas? Anong laban ko sa pagibig niyang may expiration date?

I love her so, so much. But hearing her say that she doesn't need me anymore, she doesn't love me anymore. That was too much, that was beyond my limit. Hinabol ko siya, pinursigi ko, I had gone through hell just to chase her down to depths of everything but what did she do, huh? She shove me the truth, that I believe was a lie, but she insisted. She said words that cut through my deepest surface, she said anything to make me leave her. Kitang kita ko sa kanyang mata na ayaw na niya talaga, Anong magagawa ko?