c h a p t e r | f i v e

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Ariana sat across from me as we sat on the floor of my bedroom staring down at my blank phone screen at nine-thirty-two in the morning. I had the picture of my parents laying face down next to my phone and the dial screen open. In my peripherals I notice Ariana look up at me and finally break the awkward silence.

"If you won't, I will." She suggests. I shake my head. I need to do this, and do it now. Besides, he could be laying on his death bed and this might be the last moment to talk to him. Of course, that was extreme, but it was a possibility that pushed me to pick up the phone.

I dial the number scribbled on the back of the photo and wait for the ringing.

One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings, five rings. A pause. Then I heard it. My dad's voice.

"This is Dean Winchester. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you one of these days." Then a beep.

I was frozen. What do I say? I hadn't even thought of what to say. What if he doesn't even want a daughter?

Quickly, I pulled the phone away from my ear and hung up.

"What happened?" Ariana asked, equally confused as myself, though for different reasons.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Hi, I'm your almost fifteen, almost sixteen year old daughter, call me back'? I should've thought this out better before I called him."

"How do you know it was him?"

I re-dialed the number and put it on speaker for her to hear. The message played once more and my heart felt warm like it had last night. It's like a good feeling lighting a fire of hope in my chest.

"Oh my god, Ava, that's your dad right there." Ariana mumbled when I hung up before it could begin recording.

"I know," A smile spreads across my face and I look down at the phone number. "I know."

During lunch as I sat at the dining table with my parents and Henry, my dad's voice kept ringing around in my head. I would smile every so often and my parents would give me a concerned look.

After Mom took Henry to his playroom, she came back to the table and sat across from me, next to Dad. They had both finished, as had I. They had work to do, I was just texting Ariana. So what were they still sitting at the table for?

"Ava," Dad says.

"Yeah?" I send a last text and lock my phone. I look between the two of them, curious as to why this seems a lot like an intervention. "I'm not doing drugs or drinking alcohol, I swear."

"What?" They both ask. "Why do you say that? Is there something we should know?" Dad says, sternly. I shake my head.

"No, it just seems like some kind of bad habit intervention." There's a slightly awkward silence between the three of us. "Oh, God it's not the sex talk, is it? I learn this in school, please don't." At this, Mom laughs.

"No, darling, we just-" Mom looks at Dad cautiously, her eyes pleading him to take over.

"We know you found the letter from your mom." Dad continues. I stop breathing for a second. Am I in trouble for reading it?

"Have you read it yet?" Mom asks. I nod slowly. She smiles sadly. "Your mother was a great woman, Ava. I wish you could've gotten to know her like I did."

"She said the same thing," I mumble. "How she wished I could've gotten to know her." I smile for a moment, but it fades quickly. "But she's dead."

Mom reaches across the table and places her hand on mine. "It was scary to watch, Ava. I'm glad you didn't have to see it." I just nod.

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