Sex Diary 4

Chapter 19 (Time Up)

Hello? You have a minute to talk? I guess, what's up? I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier, Ashton said. You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault. I really don't know how I should have responded. You responded better than anybody else would have. I'm really sorry Ashton, I didn't know I had AIDS. I figured you didn't. You don't seem like the type of person that would sleep with someone knowing they have AIDS. If I would have known, I wouldn't have had unprotected sex with you. I know you wouldn't. I fucked your life up, I said. It's crazy because im not as mad as I should be. What you mean? Yeah, im mad but not how I should be. Now I can really spend the rest of my life with you. What? Crystal, I love you. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. I didn't plan on being with another woman anyway. With both of us having AIDS, that gives me more reasons to only be with you. I couldn't believe Ashton was saying this to me. What planet is this man from? I have to go, ill talk to you later. I really didn't know what to think or feel. I'm so mentally drained from all of this shit. I don't know what's left of me. I wanna go to another planet or something. I thought moving to Jamaica was a good idea and I was safe but im not. Merlo said somebody is watching me very closely. I wonder who tho. It's only one person that im around like that and that's Brit. Could she be working for Keenan? That's impossible, she helped me kill him. I know for a fact it's not Lakendra. Who could be watching me like that? I'm gon drive myself crazy trying to piece everything together. Starting to think I should just give up. Stop trying to figure all this shit out and just give in. All of this my fault anyway. If I wouldn't have never crossed Keenan, none of this would be happening.

I was at the lowest point of my life. I knew I was at my lowest when I hit up a friend of mine for some drugs. I don't even smoke but shit right now I need something. I normally just drink until I can't drink no more. I need something a little stronger than alcohol. Butterfly, what brings you here? Needed to holla at you for a minute. Step in my office. I've known Spider for about 11 years now. We don't see much of each other because he been in and out of jail for years. He always been like a brother to me, a brother that ive fucked a few times. He always has my back without a doubt. I should have been called him to handle this Keenan situation or for some kind of protection. I just know Spider; he has no chill for real. If I tell him anything about what's going on, he probably will kill everybody I associate with just to make sure im protected. That's what I love about him, he super overprotective. How you been? I been good, just chilling really. What you need? I need to know what you know or heard about a guy name Keenan. I heard a few stories about him, not really much to tell. A few niggas that use to run with him wanna be a part of my operation now. Really? Yeah, im thinking about it tho. Why they wanna run with you now? With him being dead, they don't have no product to push. I heard his wife trying to take over the business but she don't know what she doing. You gon let his people run with you? I might, he had some good connections. I might need those in the future. What kind of connects? I heard he got lawyers, cops, and shit on his side. That's how he able to push so much shit without getting caught. I found out he got doctors on payroll pushing that shit too. They pushing some serious shit, some shit that'll get you popped. What else you know? That's all for now. Wait, why you asking so many questions? I know you not working for that nigga too. Hell naw, im just asking. I need something, I said. Something like what? Drugs. What? Yeah, I need some drugs. Since when do butterfly do drugs? You gon hook me up or not? What kind of drugs you need? Powder. Whoaaa, what you up to? I just need some Spider, that's all. I'm not giving you nothing until you tell me what you up to. I have a girlfriend coming in town and she into this kind of stuff. I know you not talking about too short. No, you know Kendra don't do drugs. Who you talking about? My friend Brit, I told her ill show her a good time while she here. I'm only giving you a little bit. That's fine, she don't need a lot no way. Butterfly, call me if you need anything. I will.