Sex Diary 4

Chapter 7 (Last Goodbyes)

Today was the day of my Jaylen and Morgan's funeral. I wasn't ready for this day at all and neither was Jayson. I hate this is the last time im going to see them. I was ready to get this day over with. A little before the funeral, Ashton texted me. "I know today is a rough day for you. I just wanted you to know im here if you need anything beautiful". I really appreciate him for being here for me. For the last few days, he always checks on me. I feel bad but I really like him. It was killing me to see Jayson cry, I was hoping this funeral will be over soon. I don't think I can take seeing him cry no more. The whole ride to Brit's house, Jayson didn't say a word. I know this is extremely hard for him right now. I booked my flight to New York, im leaving later today. I'm not sure about leaving Jayson right now tho. Jayson you sure you want me to go to New York without you? Yeah, im sure. I'm just worried about leaving you right now. It's hard for me but ill be ok. I know you need to go and get everything done before moving out there. I will be ok while you're gone. I'm so proud of you for being brave. It's hard but I know I have to. I'll make sure I have everything ready for when you come out there. I'm lucky to have you, Jayson said. I don't know what ill do if I didn't have you to help me through this. I'm glad my dad married the right woman.

Since I didn't have anything to pack, flying to New York is going to be easy. I really don't wanna be around nobody right now so im going to be staying at a hotel until I find a place. I really liked the hotel me and Ashton had so im going to stay there. I gave Jayson a big hug and kiss before I left. Please be safe, Jayson said. I'll call you as soon as I land. The whole plane ride, I could only think about Ashton. I don't know what's going on with me right now. I just buried my husband and my daughter, why am I thinking about another man? I really need to talk to Dr. Franklin about this, I need somebody to make this make sense to me. I didn't tell Ashton I was moving back here, I wanted to surprise him. Since I made it to New York kind of late, im going to surprise him tomorrow. I was excited to see him; I know he'll be excited to see me too. I called the spa to see what time was he going to be there. I'm glad he'll be there in a little bit, I sure could use some "relaxation" right now. I made sure nobody got him before I did. I paid the front desk girl a few dollars to make sure don't nobody get him. I got in my room and got everything ready for him. Ashton came in the room and I closed the door. I was standing behind the door butt ass naked. Hello handsome! Ashton didn't respond, he locked the door and picked me up. We started kissing while Ashton grabbed my ass. Feeling his hands around my body and feeling his soft lips, felt so good. I been thinking and dreaming about being in his arms again since the last time I was with him. I missed you so much, Ashton said. I missed you too daddy. Ashton laid me on the table, cut the music up, and started eating my pussy. I been wanting to feel this since I left him. I guess he knew I needed this because he took his time pleasing me. He sucked and licked it so passionately. He was making love to me with his mouth. I tried to control my moans, I didn't wanna get him in trouble. We have to stop, Ashton said while wiping his mouth. I want you so bad right now, I need more room than this. Where you staying? I'm at the hotel across the street for now. What room? Same room we had last time. Cool, ill come finish the job when I get off. I shol was enjoying it too. I know, I saw you trying to control your moans. I didn't wanna be all loud and get you in trouble. Well be prepared because I want you moaning as loud as you can. I can do that daddy. I'll see you later beautiful.

I left the spa and headed to Dr. Franklin's office. I really need him to help me figure all of this out. I'm glad he started doing book appointments online. Hey, I have an appointment with Dr. Franklin. You can go right in ma'am. Hey Dr. Franklin! Hey Crystal, how are you? Not too good. Let's get started, Dr. Franklin said while getting his pad and pen. I told the masseuse guy I was married and we couldn't see each other no more. He wasn't too happy when I told him. I was going to tell Jaylen when I got home but I didn't get a chance to. Why not? My step son called very upset. He said he needed me to come home. I asked him what was wrong. He said it's Jaylen and our daughter Morgan. The phone hung up after he said that. I tried calling him back but he didn't answer. I called my mother in law to see what was going on. She told me that there was a house fire and they didn't make it. Oh, im sorry to hear that. I made it to Florida as fast as I could. I made it and I still couldn't believe it. Jaylen went to our daughter room to get her out the house. Jayson, my step son was standing outside with his grandmother waiting for Jaylen to come out. While he was heading the door with our daughter, the ceiling caved in. I'm sorry to hear that. I don't understand why this keeps happening to me. The part I really don't understand is, I was still thinking about the masseuse guy. His name his Ashton by the way. What you mean you were thinking about him? Later that day after I comfort Jayson, I went outside to talk to Ashton. He had told me that he been thinking about me and what not. To make a long story short, we ended up having video chat sex. Oh, wow. I'm not sure why im having these feelings right now. I was sad and hurt I lost my husband and my daughter. The feeling was different this time tho. What you mean? When I lost my mother, Lakendra, and Jayden I felt like I wanted to die. I feel completely different this time. I'm hurt and sad but I don't have that I wanna die feeling. What's wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with you Crystal. You just experienced so many deaths, you're emotional drained right now. You have lost a lot of people that you loved and you were at your lowest point. You've been through this so much you just adjusted to it, it's completely normal. Just because you're feeling this way doesn't mean you didn't love Jaylen or your daughter. I just feel bad that im thinking about another man this much after my husband died. First I cheated on him more than once now im thinking about another man. I wanna go back to something, Dr. Franklin said. How did the fire start? They not sure, police are still looking into it. You think it was done on purpose? I can't see that happening. We don't have any enemies in Florida so I can't see somebody doing this. Could be it be wiring on the house? I doubt it's that either, our house was in good condition. Crystal have you ever heard the term, you reap what you sew? Yeah, I heard my mother say it a few times but didn't really know what it meant. I think that's what is happening to you right now. What you mean?