The truth shouldn't hurt

My Rock

Mark

I was alone again, on the floor, back where I started. I don't know what went wrong. Blood is all around me, suffocating me with its foul stench. Why was I doing this to myself again, I thought I was cured. Sean was my cure, Jack was my rock. I don't know what went wrong.

Flashback
We were in the park, the same park that I've gone to think about things. We were swinging and goofing off, like we always did. I was telling him how happy I was to finally be at a school that was so different from my old ones. I wish I hadn't said that because he asked me something about my past. The past that I wanted to just be all a horrible, horrible nightmare.
"Say, ye haven't told me anything about yer old schools." That sweet accent has never said words that pained me so deeply. "How was it?"
"Er, it was just different."
"How so??"
I cleared my throat trying to clear my head. "Bad different, like all my other past schools."
"How many times have you moved schools? Why were they so bad." His smile was so sincere, he just wanted to know more about me, more about my awful past.
"Er, I'd say atleast 10 times, these past four years have been tough." I didn't want to explain everything but I wanted to prove to myself that I was being a good boyfriend.
"If ye don't mind me asking, what happened?"
I sighed, I don't want to get angry but he's asking too much from me. "You already know about my dad and brother."
"But," he grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes, "You seem to be hiding something else."
"Sean, I'm hiding things to protect you, to protect us."
"From what!" He was starting to get annoyed.
"From me." His voice raised as mine grew to a whisper.
"That doesn't make any sense, I want to protect you-"
"You can't..."
"I will! And you can't stop me!"
"Sean, can't you understand"
"Understand what! That my boyfriend keeps lying and hiding things from me, tha-"
"I never lied."
"That's a bunch of baloney! What about those texts!"
I looked at him shocked, how much did he know.
"And don't go run off and 'snap', you need to face yer problems."
"How can you face something that you only see in the mirror?"
"Mark..." He sounded desperate, desperate for me to understand.
"You've lied and hidden things from me too Sean."
"When?!"
"You said you'd stay with me, but not out if pity. But sometimes when I look into your eyes, pity is all I see."
He kept quiet so I went on.
"And what about that text last night, why would you send me something like. Did something happen that you're not telling me about."
"It's not as important as those texts that you've been receiving."
"Jack, I don't want to talk about it."
"Then I don't think I want to be with somebody that keeps things from me!"
"Why do you care so much, they're not significant to your life!"
"Then neither are you!"
My breathing sped up, I was hurt so badly, it hurt more than all those awful nights. "I'm glad we feel the same way!"
"Okay then it's done."
"Good, I'm going home!" I got up from my swing, and started walking home, I felt so empty. I could still here his last words to me; 'I don't care.'
They hurt me so badly but it's over now. Once I was in my room I stared out my window waiting for him to come home. He arrived at his house around 10 with four other guys. He received comfort while all I had were my thoughts. I locked myself in the bathroom, thank goodness mom was asleep. I want her to believe I'm okay. She was really happy yesterday, I only told her Jack was my friend and no one messed with me at school. She wanted my happiness and was overjoyed that I was happy.She made her dumplings to celebrate, it's been so long since our last happy dinner...

I wanted to lay here on the bathroom floor, surrounded by my mistakes and depressive thoughts forever. But I got up and cleaned myself. I could remember the day Jack helped me, it felt so long ago now. He's not my rock anymore, I don't need anyone, especially him. My phone buzzed suddenly, I knew who it was, but I didn't care I picked it up and read the message.

DONT ANSWER : why haven't you been responding Marky<3

I gathered all my strength, I don't know why but HIS comfort didn't seem so bad at the moment.

Marky : I've been busy moving in
DONT ANSWER : but I miss you :(
Marky : I miss you too
DONT ANSWER : you're so cute Marky, you b*tch ;)
Marky : I love you too

Tears were streaming down my face yet I was smiling. I felt pain throughout my body, I was flooded with awful memories but I didn't care. I changed his contact, I needed rocks to hold me down, any rock would do even if it always beat me down...

My rock : maybe I'll see you soon...

A/N: sooo I'm in my biology teachers room right now during lunch and he is trying to scare me out of regulars US History. Having a great time though, sitting here all alone, enough about me, hope you enjoyed!