Diary of a Sociopath

Chapter 3- Jaded

Never in my entire existence could you have convinced me that I would be dressing up for Halloween. I had spent the last two nights looking up costume ideas on amazon and google but found cliche ones like pirates and cowboys-but nothing that made me feel comfortable. That was until I came upon a 40s gangster outfit. Collecting the items from my local clothing store, I placed it together and looked in front of the mirror with a large smile of success. With my usual messy hair gelled back, and complete with a fedora, I hijacked my fake cigar from my bedside table and headed out to the car. On my way, I saw how the children truly enjoyed the holiday more than any other. I saw how their parents rolled their eyes when they were pulled on by their children and it made me wonder how many of them should actually have kids; what sins they had committed.

My thoughts were ceased as I arrived at Micky's to see the entire staff dressed in everything from sexy nurses to werewolves with torn shirts and bloody appendages hanging off of them. But Ava was nowhere in sight. We talked a few nights before the party, discussing how we would try to surprise one another on our costumes, but I grew anxious not knowing. Truth is, I didn't know her well enough to know what she would pick. I didn't now if she was against objectifying herself on this day, or if this was the one day she used to do just that. I must have mistaken her for at least thirteen other women before I realized she was not at the party. I was not too worried at this point as I had arrived early.

The hours grew later as ten o'clock raced by and I grew nervous. My eyes froze at the door and the counter as I saw it was mostly empty aside from the manager who kept moving back behind it to take customers. When another half an hour passed, I grew too anxious to wait and approached said manager.

"Is Ava working tonight?"

"You must be Lincoln...she's told us a lot about you."

"Really?" I couldn't lie. I was more than flattered. My stomach felt odd at this moment though. Almost ill, a mix between nervous and excited...anxious maybe...

She nodded as I gave a polite smile before remembering my reason for initiating conversation to begin with.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I am worried. She is usually very punctual...did she call in or something?"

"No...but if you wanted to stop by her house..I'm sure you can find out...One of the others can go with you if you want-"

"I'm good. Thank you." As I walked away, she complimented me on my costume before I exited the party and headed down the street. My eyes instantly caught the section of road that her and I first shared a genuine moment when I wasn't...observing her....and my heart began to race slightly. I could feel the adrenaline build through my veins as the moments replayed in my head. But just as quickly as it began, my eyes flickered ahead as I remembered my mission.

I found her home to be pitch black almost as if nobody had been home. But her car lingered in the driveway and I could see her purse hanging near the door where it had been when I came the first time for dinner. I peered inside after cupping my hands, but found nothing but darkness and Matthew's toys to be awaiting me. Clenching my fists, I knocked hard on the door before hearing a moaning on the inside. After calling out her name several times, I could feel myself begin to slip into a monster; I was seeing red to anyone who may have hurt her. I moved around the house to find the french doors on the side to be my best option on getting in as I used a rock from the ground to break the glass and gain entry.

Upon doing so, I continued to call out her name until I saw her foot laying on the kitchen floor, pointed towards me. I quickly made my way around before seeing there were two spots of blood near her arms and I wasn't sure if she was shot or cut, or even alive at this point. I lifted her into my arms, tore open the front door, and drove her directly to the hospital.

I never liked hospitals as it was always full of sadness or mania. Someone was always yelling and every few hours an alert or alarm would go off somewhere, causing panic through the entire hospital. But in this instance, I neglected to notice anything but her doctor emerging through the double doors to the right of me. Five in the morning came as I felt a tap on my shoulder as I must have dozed off.

"Are you here for Miss Thompson?"

I nodded, rubbing my eyes, before being led down the hall, away from the other people waiting to hear news of those they cared for.

"What is your relation to the victim?"

"Victim? Is she okay?"

"Please sir-"

"Tell me if she's okay?"

"She's stable. It took some surgery on her wrist-"

"What happened?"

"I need to ask you the same." I could tell the doctor would not budge on any information until I divulged some first and so I then took a sigh and began.

"I had plans with Ava to go to a Halloween shindig and she wasn't there when I arrived. I waited a few hours and went to her house to find it locked, I broke a window as I heard her moan inside and it was when I found her on the floor."

"Well I will tell you...you are this woman's angel or something...."

"Why? Tell me...please..."

"If you would have waited for police or an ambulance...she...she wouldn't be here right now."

"What happened?"

"Her wrist was cut. Almost severing her vein, but luckily, not enough to permanently damage. She will have some pain when she moves it, but as far as life...she's very lucky." I found myself overcome with relief but then sadness. And as if the doctor read my mind, she continued to inform me. "I am curious on something...was she suicidal?"

"No. She has a son that is her whole world...She would never leave him...especially with his father-" Suddenly it hit me like a tidal wave. I even had to catch myself as the thought was almost too horrid to think. How would anyone want to hurt her? Her only fault was the love for her son. I vowed at that moment if I discovered Ray was even there that night...he would make it on my list...number 5....

"Well I did see several other scars on her body...as well as some bruises...do you know where we could get a hold of the father of her son?"

"I don't. I only had the misfortune once."

"Okay. Well-"

"Can I see her?"

"She does need to rest."

"Please. I've been waiting for almost eight hours...I just want to sit with her... I won't wake her up...I promise."

I couldn't believe I didn't have to persuade her anymore before she allowed me in. Before I even opened the door, I had a rush of guilt. If she was injured...I am sure it had to do with me. If not, then I had guilt for not checking on her sooner. When I entered, I heard the murmurs of many machines including one that was helping her breathe. I slowly shut the door behind me before sliding the chair closer to her.

I suddenly had a vision with her lifeless in front of me. One I didn't take kindly to. And I promised her that I was going to protect her at all costs and would not let anyone hurt her again. But due to my lack of sleep and intense level of worry, I fell asleep atop her hand, and felt so relaxed being beside her.