Diary of a Sociopath

Chapter 4- Hidden Scars

"Hey you." Her voice said sweetly as I peeled my drool sodden lips from her hand.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's the least I can do...you've saved my life twice now..."

"I'm just so glad I was able to...What happened? Please...if you just got overwhelmed..."

"You think I did this to myself?"

"The doctor said you had bruises and scars in other places." I could see that I set off a switch of emotion as she almost became numb. Her eyes showed the same look as mine when I was out for the kill.

"Truth is..." She took a deep breath in before confessing. "I used to cut when I was a new mom. I was overwhelmed then...but I never wanted to end anything. I cut too deep on a few and they scarred...As far as the bruises...that's all Ray..."

"Did he do this?"

Her gaze instantly shifted from me.

"Tell me, Ava." Suddenly I could feel my grip tighten on the bed beside her as I leaned in close enough to hear the answer. But I waited for several moments, realizing she wouldn't give it to me.

"Please."

"If I tell you...you'll hurt him."

"I will-"

"I remember you that night with those guys that nearly raped me...and...and I swear I was scared for a minute. But then your eyes became sweet and trusting again...like when you first looked towards me...But you have that look now."

I eased my gaze on the side of her before nodding and apologizing. She nodded in agreement before reaching her hand to mine.

"I swear to you if he wasn't Matthew's father, I would have killed that son of a b***h a decade ago. But Matthew loves his father and he is a good dad to him...so I need you to promise me that you won't take his father from him."

I could only bring myself to agree, against all my better judgement. In my eyes, there was never a more perfect candidate for my list. He was selfish, harmful, and vindictive. And that was just what I saw now.

"Now since I promise, can you tell me what happened?"

She sat up in bed as I aided her with her moans and whimpers. Thanking me, she began;

"I just finished prepping Matthew's superhero costume when Ray showed up. I had forgotten that it was his night and willingly went to pack Matthew's stuff before he grabbed me and asked me about having random men in the house around our son. The thought made me sick-not because of you...but because of what he would do if I answered the truth."

"The truth?"

"You saving me. He drives everyone and anyone I've ever cared about away. My own brother won't even talk to me..."

"Continue..."

"We ended up in the kitchen as I was getting his inhaler in the bag and I asked Matthew to wait in the car and lock the doors as I discussed the plans with Ray. He threw the bag from my hands and pushed me up against the counter before yelling at me that I was easy and a whore..." Tears filled her eyes as she tried to forget the specifics as she tried to relay the moments to me.

"It's okay..." I said, rubbing her back as she fell into me. I could feel her sobbing into my chest and instantly pulled her deeper into me. I could not help the feeling of her needing me to be more than arousing, but calming and enjoyable. Leave it to me to become roused by a woman crying from escaping death. But it wasn't my fault...everything she did was beautiful. From the smile to the way she cried, and everything in between.

But she had then told me how Ray had lifted a knife from the holder by the sink and threatened to mark her with his name if she didn't set a good example for Matthew. He then accidentally slit her wrist when he met to grab her when she pulled away-but instead of staying and calling the police, he fled with Matthew in the car-unaware of his mother's life hanging by a thread.

My gaze then fell heavy as I felt her palms against my cheeks. Instantly, my eyes closed as I was soothed by her touch. When my eyes opened again, I saw her beautiful gray eyes to be looking deep into mine.

"What is it?" She asked, almost able to read my thoughts through my glance.

"I feel guilty, Ava....If I would have been there sooner-"

"There was no way you could have known...No way..."

"I had this feeling in my gut to go sooner and I ignored it, not wanting you to think I was stalking you or anything...but...I was too worried to be rejected and therefore-"

"Rejected?"

"Yeah...I don't want to scare you...you already said I did..."

"The way you get passion about being a good person...the way your eyes become almost disassociated with what's around you. As if you have a sole mission and cannot be stopped until it's completed. What scares me is you're braver then I am-"

I scoffed, making her glare immediately at me.

"I haven't been through anything you have. I have my days where I wake up and feel like getting out of bed was a mistake, but you have no choice. You don't care if you're sick, or tired, or overworked...you still are a mom. That son is the luckiest little boy in the world..."

"You have no idea how much that means..."

Suddenly I could feel the mood and moment shift. The booster in self-confidence became a moment of a longing gaze as I saw her lean closer to me. My hand slid behind her neck, instantly entangling in her hair and my eyes closed just as the door came open. The nurse blushed and chuckled before turning away.

"It's alright." Ava said blushing before the nurse smirked at us both before handing Ava a clipboard.

"All you have to do is sign yourself out. All your vitals look good and the doctor already talked to you about caring for the wounds and the medications." She nodded, now focusing on the medical professional. I couldn't help myself but be enamored by her. A woman was nearly murdered and she always found a reason to smile or chuckle even. But just as soon as I felt the happiness, I felt the lust for blood. For Ray's blood. To see the fear in his eyes and to get revenge. But I was not going to break my promise to Ava. I just had to find a way around it...