Better Off Dead // Larry AU ✔️

how come no one heard him

May 10th, 2015.

The past couple of days have been so weird. After Louis and I started dating its like he doesn't want to be around me anymore. I'll try to meet up with him after therapy and he'll just tell me he's tired and then go to his room. When I try to cuddle him he always pushes himself away and says he's getting a cold and doesn't want to get me sick.

Did I do something wrong? I know I don't have much experience with normal relationships, since Nick only wanted me for sex and to get more drugs, but then again Louis' past relationship wasn't the best either. 

It's making me so upset. He's my boyfriend and I wanna be able to treat him as well as I can and give him everything he deserves. He deserves so much more than this - he's wonderful in every sense of the word and I want to make him feel as good as he makes me feel.

I hope one day when we get out of here him and I will go on cutesy dates. Coffee dates, movie dates, park dates, the whole lot. I hope I can cuddle him all night without having to get up early and sneak back into my room before one of the nurses catch me. I hope I can hold him without feeling everyone bone in his body poke me. I hope one day we're both in a better state of mind and can continue our relationship.

He makes me so happy.

Harry. xx

..

Harry closed the journal with a sigh and leaned back in his chair, thinking about everything he had just written. A small smile grew on his face when he thought about the possibility of maybe living with Louis one day. All the almost empty tea cups laying around, the sweaters and shows sprawled around the living room, the sheets always being messy because they both know Louis will mess them up that night anyway.

He spent so much time fonding over the boy he didn't even notice a knock at the door and a quiet "Harry" that went along.

"Speak of the devil," Harry muttered with a small smile, fixing his hair quickly as he walked over. "Hey, Lou."

"Hi." Louis said quietly, shrinking into his sweater. "Can we talk?" Harry's face fell and he felt dizzy, is this happening already? It's only been five days! Surely Louis hadn't gotten sick of him already!

"Of course." He tried to remain confident. The colour in his face was draining with each step he took towards the neatly made bed. He watched a slight dip form when Louis sat down. "What's troubling you?"

"I'm sorry." He admitted, lifting his head to look up at Harry's emerald eyes. "I've been a pretty shitty boyfriend lately. But I guess, I mean, healthy relationships involve talking, right? I just, I need to talk about this to you, and maybe you can help me." He took a deep breath and played with his sweater, pulling at the loose ends.

"Of course, Lou." Harry repeated, turning his body to face Louis. He took in all his features - the way Louis' eyes were droopy and slightly glazed like he hadn't been sleeping. The way his under eyes were tinted purple and a little wet with what seemed like tears. His hair was disheveled and poking out every where, but still somehow styled in a side sweep. His collarbones were visible above the sweater, poking out from his skin more than they should. He sat criss-crossed on the bed and his knuckled were a slight shade of red with white surrounding them.