Better Off Dead // Larry AU ✔️

"if i was would it"

June 6th, 2015.

Louis raced down the hall until he found the room he was looking for. He said a silent prayer before opening the door, hoping to ever godly being that Harry would be there.

"Harry?" He asked quietly, poking his head inside. He saw a figure move under the blankets and he let out a sigh of relief, rushing in after he closed the door. "H, I'm so sorry." He whimpered, reaching the bed.

"For what? I'm the one who should be sorry, the medicine just helped me stabilise my moods and I'm trying to do it alone now and it's just taking some getting used to." Harry shook his head, emerging from under the pile of blankets he had.

"Harry I– Are you okay?" Louis sat down next to the boy, biting his lip. "I heard about what happened..." he said nervously, hoping Harry wouldn't get pissed or shut him out.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lou." Harry raised his eyebrow. Alright, so he's going both ways. Louis thought, mentally rolling his eyes.

"Sharon told me that Nick was here." Harry's eyes snapped up to him momentarily before he squeezed them shut, shaking his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but Louis cut him off. "Please, don't try to be all big and bad about it. He manipulated you and mentally abused you, there's no way in hell that seeing him again didn't trigger something."

"He wanted to do coke with me again," Harry shook his head, biting his lip. "I wanted to do it, too. For a second I was back in Cheshire in our flat, laying on our bed and letting him snort a line off my stomach."

"Why didn't you?" Louis asked, putting his hand on Harry's back, reassuring the young boy.

"I thought of you– of how you would react if you came back and found out I'd been sent somewhere because I relapsed again. I didn't want to disappoint you, so I ran to Sharon and told her everything and he got arrested." Harry let out a shaky breath, opening his eyes again. "That's all. He didn't touch me, or anything else. I mean– he said some disgusting things but that was it. I made sure to stay clear of him, he was only here for a couple of days."

"Is that why you freaked out earlier?"

"Yeah," he nodded, taking a breath as if he was trying to urge himself to keep going. "My mind was racing and all I could think about was him and his hands and how rough he is and–" Harry shook his head, feeling himself getting dizzy.

"Hey, hey, bubs. Deep breaths, yeah? It's over now. Just you and me." Louis reassured, holding Harry close. "Don't think about him, okay? Just think about me. It's nice when I hold you, right?"

Harry nodded, scooting himself closer to Louis. The older boy continued to praise him and reassure him while Harry steadied his breathing.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was just glad you were finally back and I didn't want to upset you. You really scared me, Lou. I was there– I mean, I saw them take you to ICU. You looked so... dead. You were so pale and you looked so cold, it ripped my heart out." Harry chewed on his bottom lip, causing some blood to bead up. "I never want to see you like that again."

"You won't. I want to get better this time. It feels so nice having energy and not having everything ache all the damn time." Louis rolled his eyes a little.

Harry smiled and nodded along, enjoying listening to the boy speak.

"Tired myself out with all this talking. I'm gonna go sleep, yeah?" Louis asked with a smile, kissing Harry's temple.

"Sleep well. I'll see you tomorrow." Harry smiled back at him, squeezing his hand. He watched Louis walk out and close the door behind him before he slipped his shirt off and shut off the lamp on his desk. He made his way back to his bed and pulled the covers up, toeing his socks off before he pulled the covers over his body.

...

Louis was the first to wake up the next morning. He went about his usual morning routine before he grabbed his bag and an extra pair of clothes and walked down to the showers. After he showered and changed into his new clothes - a pair of grey joggers and a black t-shirt - he dried his hair and styled it up for a change, deciding that he liked the way it looked up.

On his way out, he bumped into a half-naked Harry.

"Oh, hey, Lou." Harry smiled, reaching next to his own bag for a change of clothes.

"H-hi." Louis blushed, trying his best not to stare at the tattoos on Harry's stomach and chest.

"I'll be out a few minutes, wait for me?" He asked with puppy dog eyes. Louis laughed a little bit and nodded, finding a sudden interest in his finger nails the second Harry's towel dropped.

Louis let out a strangled cough, biting down on his nail. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Harry had pulled on some pants, so he finally looked back over at the boy just in time to see his muscles contract as he lifted his shirt up above his head to get it on.

"Alright, Lou?" Harry raised his eyebrow, noticing how red Louis' cheeks had gotten.

"Yeah." He squeaked, then let out another cough, "I mean– yes. I'm good, are you ready to get breakfast? 'M a bit hungry myself."

Harry smiled at that comment and nodded, grabbing his bag and balled up clothes from the counter. "Never heard you say that before." He noted.

Louis only smiled in response and kissed Harry's cheek as he left to put his things away in his room. He met up with Harry afterwards and they both began to walk to the cafeteria, scanning the crowd momentarily for Liam and Niall.

"My therapist said he's gonna help me apply to some Uni's close by so once I get out I can finish school." Harry murmured, shoving some toast in his mouth.

"That's good, babe." Louis smiled, popping some fruit into his mouth. "What do you wanna study for?"

"I'd like to be a literature teacher. I love reading and writing and that seems like the perfect occupation that covers both bases. Either that or history , I always loved learning about History."

"I h-hated L-Lit. The t-t-teacher al-always made me r-read ou-outloud." Niall rolled his eyes, stabbing the eggs on his plate with his fork.

"Well, Lit hated you too, grumpy pants." Louis sassed back, sticking his tongue out. Niall rolled his eyes and poked his tongue out at Louis.

"Liam, we're dating children." Harry shook his head, watching the two with a fond expression.

"Suppose." Liam answered, shared the fond expression.

"What about you, Lou? What grand plans do you have?" Harry asked, swallowing some of his cereal.

"I wanna help people. I haven't decided if I wanna be a psychiatrist yet or if I wanna be a therapist. My mum said I was always good at making people laugh and making them better, so I wanna give it a try professionally." Louis nodded in content, finishing up the last of his oatmeal. "I already studied psych for two years in high school and I loved it."

"You'll definitely be great at it, babe. You make everyone feel better just by talking." Harry nodded, grabbing Louis' spare hand.

The rest of breakfast consisted of mini fights between Louis and Niall, as well as Liam and Harry fonding hopelessly over their boyfriends.

...

1306 words.
Written: 12/28/16
updated 03/24/2021

next chap lowkey might be the last or second to last one 🙈