Emotions are a Funny, Complicated Thing.

|broken lock|

Broken Lock
_____________________________________

Last night was another sleepless night of studying and anxious waiting for today to arrive. I still couldn't comprehend why I was accepted to receive the job interview in the first place. It was an office job, something that contradicts everything I'm not. But I guess I need this job to prove something.

I began to get dressed putting on my favorite uncomfortable business outfit and heels and grabbed my necessities for the day. Walking out the door to the quiet street, the little apartment building began to vanish with every step I took the farther I walked away.

Every sudden hit from the wind sent chills around my body. I underestimated the weather today like I always do in this unpredictable city. I still had an hour until my interview so I decided to begin my journey to my favorite coffee shop.

Finally arriving I stepped through the familiar doors and instantly relieved of the cold weather replaced with the stuffy warm air. I sat at my usual spot and took out my laptop to finish my report for my literature class later today. My anxiety quickly returned when I began to type, school would definitely be the death of me. The bell above the door rang and entered a young man with curly hair. He walked in and sat next to me, which didn't help at all, my anxious nerves get to be shown without restraint. But he sat there unfazed by my constant stressed self, which was reassuring.

The longer I sat there the more I began to worry about the job interview. I hated people asking me questions about me asking things like, tell me about yourself or who really is Mandy Quinn and what are her deepest darkest secrets? No one has really asked that but it definitely feels like it though. I just don't think that I'm interesting to be honest. Just a girl who can't keep a job or boyfriend, actually have a real life, and can't keep her nerves in check, I am winning at life.

Looking at my watch it was a quarter till the interview, so I stood up gathered my things and left the comforting coffee shop and the comforting universe called Amber Way. Stepping onto the black pavement of the street I called a cab to escape the glorious walk of two blocks and unsettling cold. During the ride I tried my best at controlling my breathing so I didn't look like a complete mess, or just try to hide it. I arrived at my destination and walked out of the cab ready, as I'll ever be.

Walking into the gray skyscraper for my job interview made me realize I was even more nervous than when I woke up this morning. Job interviews have never been easy, I guess it's my smile that is the first to judge. I can't fool anyone.

Click-clack, click-clack. Every step I took in my pinching black heels made on the white tiled floors made it seem like it was warning me to turn back now. I hated this already, which wasn't a good sign. I walked to the elevator after getting the clear to head up form the receptionist. I stepped into the death trap along with hopefully, my future coworkers. The ride up was awkward and uncomfortable which I expected. The latest number one song played softly attempted to sooth my morning jitters. Didn't help much although.

With a ping the elevator doors opened and out everyone went to start their 9 to 5 hour day. I walked the long hallway the room I was interviewing in, passing little cubicles and tired office workers. This place wasn't like where I've worked before; lively and fast paced, while here was boring and molasses. I don't really see why I was here anyway. Maybe to attempt to change how am I am; try to go from push over Mandy to businesswoman Amanda.

Finally stepping into the much-anticipated office I was welcomed by boring walls and a monotone hello. The woman interviewing me seemed well put together but colorless, I couldn't comprehend a word she said except for the dreaded sentence, tell me about you. I held my tongue before any embarrassing and shameful things about me slipped out of my mouth. I memorized what to say, not very honest but I don't seem like I'm the kind of person who ever is.