Show Me 2 - Remember Me (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty Nine - Half A Heart

So your friend's been telling me,

You've been sleeping with my sweater,

And that you can't stop missing me.

Bet my friend's been telling you,

I'm not doing much better.

'Cause I'm missing half of me.

- "Half A Heart", One Direction

....

HARRY POV

I lay in that bed, staring numbly at her spiderweb sheets, the thoughts of what I had just done striking me like the blow of a sledgehammer.

How could I.

I had never been more disgusted with myself as a human being, more fucked up in my head than now.

My eyes trailed to the fading hickey left on the side of my collarbone, near one of my bird tattoos. I wish there was some way for me to scrub it off, to erase all memory of what just happened to me.

The blankets shifted, and Emma sat up next to me, an exhausted smirk on her face, her hair sticking up in a thousand different directions.

My sanity seemed to pulverize in front of my own eyes when I gazed at the girl lying next to me. If this is a fucking nightmare, please, wake me up now. Or kill me. That would work too. Kill me so I wouldn't see the hurt on my girlfriend's face, so I wouldn't have to face the damage I had done.

"Jesus. I forgot how fucking amazing you are in bed." Emma's smile got bigger.

I didn't speak. I don't think I could.

"Harry?"

I said nothing. I didn't even flinch to the sound of my name.

"How do you feel? Harry?"

"Fucking stop!" I roared, pulling my boxers up my legs. In the trash can by her bed - a condom. She'd had some stashed in her nightstand drawer. In my fuzzy memories, I remember her rifling around in the drawer and pulling one out for me.

I covered my face with my hands, kicking my legs over the side of her bed. I sat there, frozen.

"Harry - " I felt her cold hand hit my back and I jumped up, snatching my phone up and running to her bathroom, slamming the door shut so hard it wobbled behind me.

I just fucking cheated on Ali with Emma. For real, this time.

I was as bad - if not worse - as fucking Josh Devine. I was the only one she thought she could trust after that dickhead, and I did this to her.

My legs wobbled, and I leaned my head against the wall. What a god damn weekend.

Do you know how it feels to know that your whole world is crashing down around you? Do you know it feels to know in your heart that you broke something irreplaceable, and no glue in existence could fix it back the way it was before?

Slowly, I dialed Louis' number and held it up to my ear, waiting as it rang. I was in fucking Emma's bathroom. Kill me now, please.

"Hello, Tommo here."

"Louis." My voice was lifeless, monotone. I stared at my reflection - I had dark circles under my eyes and my cheeks were sheet pale. "I did something fucking horrible."

"Harry? Oh, god, what happened?"

"Emma..."

"What about her?"