Show Me 2 - Remember Me (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter Forty Five - I'm A Mess

Oh, I'm a mess right now,

Inside out.

Searching for a sweet surrender,

But this is not the end.

I can't work it out,

How going through the motions

Going through us.

- "I'm A Mess", Ed Sheeran

....

MAY.

I watched, fighting a smile, as my father raucously scraped away the remains of the roasted asparagus and tomato penne salad with mushrooms I'd cooked for dinner.

"Hey, Al," my father said suddenly, stabbing another forkful of the asparagus.

I looked up over my soda. "Yeah, dad?"

"How is the college hunt help for Harry goin'? I think acceptance letters are going to start coming soon, right?"

Oh. I sighed deeply, fiddling with the dream catcher necklace Harry had gotten me for my birthday back in January. He had told me to dress up, and he wore a suit. He handed me a bouquet of white roses, took me out to a fancy dinner, and to the Art Institute of Chicago. He gave me a new Canon camera and this beautiful necklace. Along with his matching paper airplane one, I never took them off. Both reminders of him.

"It's, uh, going," I answered finally, running my hand through my hair. "Sort of."

"Al, you and I both know how Harry is with his schooling. I love that kid, but it's going to be difficult - and almost damn near impossible - for him to get into Illinois State with you."

"I'm not a hundred percent going to there," I murmured, running my fork over what was left of my dinner. "I haven't even gotten accepted yet."

"We know you're getting in."

"What are you trying to say, Dad? That Harry is going to end up going to a separate college?"

He leaned over and touched my hand. "We have to be realistic, baby. This is your future. Illinois State is your first choice. If Harry doesn't get in, then that can't stop you from going after your desire to become an English professor."

"Long distance relationships don't work, Dad," I said softly, my voice breaking twice.

"Oh, Alison." Dad immediately stood up, pulling me out of my seat, and wrapped his arms around me. "I know it's hard, I do."

"It just feels like it's all happening too fast," I whispered. "I don't want to lose him."

"Even if things get a bit too hard. If he really loves you, and if you really love him, he'll come back. I promise you."

I bit my lip, thinking of growing apart from Harry, by being in a completely different world. I slowly slid out of my father's arms, going to slowly collect the dirty dishes. I almost felt sick. It was happening too fast, all of this.

What about Louis? What if Louis goes somewhere else entirely? What about Liam? And Niall? And Regina and Savannah and Bree and Drew and Sam and...

It was hitting me with rapid force that by the end of June, Fields High will no longer be home to me. The people that I see every day, I will probably never see again. I'll try to stay in touch with my friends, but what about the people I don't know? I've had all this time to meet as many people as possible, but there are still so many I haven't met. As June skyrockets closer, I can't help but feel like some of these people, some of these faces I pass every day, are...missed opportunities.