Chapter Twenty Five - Almost Is Never Enough

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And we can deny it as much as we want,

But in time our feelings will show.

'Cause sooner or later,

We'll wonder why we gave up,

The truth is everyone knows.

- "Almost Is Never Enough", Ariana Grande ft. Nathan Sykes

....

I felt the sunlight streaming on my face when a hand nudged me. "Hey. Princess. Hey, it's time to get up."

Sitting up, I felt dizzy. Zayn's mattress was a bit uncomfortable and the smell of smoke clung too much to the blankets. I swore I reeked of an ashtray.

He was watching me when I sat up. "Did you sleep well?" he mumbled softly.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Best sleep I've had in a while." Zayn smiled widely at me, running one hand through his messy, spiky hair and stretching his tattooed arms over his head.

"Want me to make you breakfast?" he continued.

I opened my mouth, but I didn't know what I would say next. I felt so strange and out of place lying in Zayn Malik's bed, in Zayn Malik's shirt, with Zayn Malik himself. I ran my fingers through my hair, catching a little bit on the tangles. "No, thanks," I said as normally as possible. "I should go home. My dad's probably freaking."

"Oh." I saw the flutter of disappointment across Zayn's face, but he quickly straightened his expression. "I'll, um...I'll leave you here so you can get changed." He gestured to my clothes on the floor, and speed-walked down the hallway.

After sitting for a second, I pulled my jeans up my legs, my shirt over my head as I let Zayn's fall to the floor. Why did I feel so wrong? So sickeningly wrong about making out with him and sleeping over. My mind kept rewinding back to Harry's phone call, only hearing his confused responses.

Did I make a mistake?

You know what you saw! a tiny voice in my head scolded me. You saw him flirting with that girl! He's back to his old ways again! Did you honestly think he could stay tied down to you for long?

Don't cry, I told myself firmly, feeling my eyes prickle. After taking another look around Zayn's room, I walked out.

I noticed Zayn standing with a glass of water in his kitchen. A bottle of open pills was on the counter beside him, and I froze in my tracks.

He lifted a pill to his mouth and chugged down water immediately afterward, twisting the cap back onto the canister.

When he turned, his eyes locked with mine, his skin paling. "I...uh...I've got orange juice if you'd like some," he said almost inaudibly.

"You don't need to be embarrassed," I whispered.

"It's okay, I know I'm crazy." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"You're not - "

"That's what your boyfriend thinks, anyways," he said poisonously.

"No he doesn't! He was just upset - "

"Why the hell did you kiss me?" he demanded. "I already apologized for kissing you the first time, why did you do it again?"

"Why did you let me?" I shot back.

"Because I like you." Zayn rolled the pill bottle back and forth in his palms, the contents rattling loudly. "But I asked you first. Why did you kiss me, Ali?"

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