Black Lotus

20 - Unrequited

September 14, 2016 | Wednesday

Dreaming isn't something I do often, but when I do, it's most likely a bad one.

You know when you have that dream where you're falling and it feels real? Well, I had a dream last night that I was sitting in a tree writing in my navigator's journal. I was perfectly fine until someone shook the tree (probably Ocean) and I fell down. However, instead of falling down on the ground like normal, I felt literally into my words. The words included "the", "navigation", "death", "revenge", and last but not least, "catalyst." I understood every word but that one. Not once in my life had I taken the initiative to be a catalyst for anything. Was this a predicament or a sign of some kind?

I guess Rafael would've rather watched me sleep than to wake me up and say goodbye. Because all there was left was a small stationary note on the night desk that read, "Until we meet again, I'll be missing you."

"Son of a bitch," I mumbled as I managed to put my clothes back on.

It was plain to see that he didn't want to be bothered. I assumed that I was used as something to play with to occupy Rafael before he left. I wasn't sure whether I should rejoice that he was gone and couldn't annoy me anymore or to cry now that I'd be missing him. No use caring now.

"Hey, you're awake already!" Rafael came into the bedroom shirtless with a pair of sweatpants on.

"You haven't left yet? I saw the note and thought-"

"No, the flight I'm getting on is later today, and you seem like a heavy sleeper, so I didn't want to wake you up."

"In other words, you're ultimate plan was to ditch me without saying a final goodbye?"

"That's not how I'd put it but, yes."

I shrugged as he got back into the bed and pulled the sheets over the both of us. "I deserve it, if I had the chance I would ditch me too."

"Shut up, you're so negative. Smile, you're still breathing and not dead!"

"Sometimes I frown at the fact that I'm not dead."

"Oasis this is the type of stuff that makes me not want to go. I'm too concerned about your well-being."

"Why? I'm well and I'm a being. That's all that counts in this world." Max would have made a witty comment like that too.

"Ooh so the kid is a philosopher now. I like it, keep it up."

"Wrong. I would rather identify as whatever the opposite of a philosopher is. Philosopher's take an interest in life, I take a lack of interest in it."

"Go back to sleep, girl."

"So you can sneak away? Nope!" I stuck my tongue out at him. "I keep my friends close and my enemies closer."

"Well if you say it in that manner it's almost like I can't tell the difference. Which am I?"

"You know what? Awhile back I would have said friend but you're not. You're not an enemy either. You're a merge of something or..."

"Distraction. That's what I am. I'm not Max but if I do what's mandatory I can get your mind off of him for a good minute or so. Right? And now that I'm leaving for China you'll have to make a new distraction of someone."