Black Lotus

29 - Uncovered

November 26, 2016 | Saturday

Dear Ms. Navigator,

Writing to you has become more difficult. You used to give me a sense of security and belonging. You provided a safe space for me to express myself freely without judgement. Now I'm struggling with dissociation and nothing seems real, right, or wrong. Therefore, I am planning on ending our relationship. I don't want you to go and think that you haven't been good to me, because you definitely have. Though we've never spoke, we spoke in spirit. You were the holder of my peace and sanity. I also apologize for not always being there for you; I once attempted to set you on fire, but Max spared you. I've thrown you, ripped pages out of you, and even wet you up with tears. If you could have gotten up and left for good, would you have?

You're Forever With Me,
The Compass

I chose to call this book: Navigator's Journal Volume 1. Because I knew it in my heart that there would be second, third, and possibly fourth volumes. No I don't think it'd be appropriate to label them diaries, but they were reflections that helped me survive. Now was the time to take up a different surviving mechanism.

"You are the worst date ever, Oasis. The wedding starts at 9:00 and it's 8:44. We're going to be so late!"

"Rafael, why are you so worried? I know more people than you. After all it is Ocean's wedding and I'm the maid of honor."

"Then you need to step your game up and rush the way I am! What's taking you so long?"

"You see, it's my makeup. I want to wear this lipstick with this foundation, but-"

"Screw that I got your makeup." Rafael snatched the brushes and other tools and to work his magic.

About to minutes later Rafael handed me a mirror. "You better like it or I'll cry."

"It's perfect, now we should get going. The Uber driver has been waiting outside for almost half an hour."

"Uber driver? What happened to your car?"

"If you were listening when I was talking this morning I said that it's in the shop because something is wrong with the engine. Now let's be on our way kid."

"Remind me why we're friends?"

"You signed up for it the day you met me."

"Being rushed for weddings was in the job description?"

"Oasis!"

"Okay I'm coming!"

The ride to the venue where the wedding was being held was literally five minutes. So I stuck my tongue out at Rafael the second we got there. I made sure to keep Ocean away from Raf to avoid potential issues, considering that it took a long and heated conversation to persuade him to let this slide. I went to Adelaide's dressing room and she was nowhere near ready.

"Ade what's going on?"

"My earring! I lost it! My mother gave it to me as a wedding gift and now it's gone!"

"I'm going to need you to chill, Adelaide. We'll find it I promise. Right now," I sat down, "just, ouch!" Something stuck me in the butt.