Falling Too ~ Josh Dun

Eight

Allison POV

True to Josh's word, the only time he let go of my hand was when we got in and out of the car. The car ride to the coffee shop was a bit awkward and silent, but it felt good just to have someone with me.

We pulled up to a little hole in the wall coffee shop called 'The Roosevelt' and got out. Once we both had our drinks in hand we found a table for two in the back. It was cozy. The walls were filled with local artists work, Christmas lights surrounded the perimeter of the ceiling, slow jazz played at a low volume. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, drinks in one hand, the other firmly grasping each other's free hand.

I summoned the courage and blurted out, "I know we've only talked a handful of times and this is going to sound crazy but, you make me feel safe." I said, looking at him directly in his coffee colored eyes. A large goofy smile flashes across his face and his tongue looks like it's threatening to poke out as his eyes squinted.

"That's all I could ever hope for, Ally." He said as he stroked his thumb up and down on my hand. "If you don't mind me asking," he spoke in a deep tone as his smile fades,"what was your panic attack about?" I gulped, I was aware of the inevitability of this question but some part of me hope I wouldn't have to answer. I stared down at the foam on my coffee while trying to formulate a way to explain.

"It doesn't have to make sense, I'll understand it." He gave my hand a small squeeze. His eyes were so warm and kind, I knew he wouldn't judge me for what I had to say.

"I-I-I" I tried to begin, glancing at Josh's concerned face gave me some more strength as I got the rest out. "I never have a good relationship. Not that I think of us as 'in a relationship'. But something bad as always happened. I seem to be a magnet for abuse in every sense. And I panicked that the same would happen again..." I finished with a sigh, I was embarrassed saying that out loud to him. How could I ever have thought that about Josh? He looked like he was about to cry. 

" I feel dumb for ever thinking like that now," I added quickly. He looked up from the spot on the table he had been staring at and grabbed my other hand.

Sadly and almost a bit sternly he said, "Allison. I will never hurt you in any way. Furthermore, I will never let anyone else treat you that way ever again. Got it?" He spoke with such conviction that I smiled and nodded.

I knew we needed to switched topics to something lighter. "Should we play 20 questions?" I asked.

"Sounds perfect," Josh answered still holding onto my hand. Time passed quickly as we shared life information. We both had always lived in some part of Ohio. He wasn't close to his parents till a few years ago and my story was the exact opposite. He had siblings, two sisters, and one brother. I had one older sister in the military, but we weren't close either. I lived alone, he lived half the time at his parents' house and half the time at Tyler's. Tyler was really his only friend, mine only real friends name is Ky, she lives in Canada and we only get to see each other about once a year. I checked my phone to see that it was 6 pm. We had both finished our coffees a long time ago but it was nice just to have someone to talk to.

"Do you want to go back to my apartment and watch a movie or something?" I asked, shyly. 

"Yes," Josh answered quickly, but sweetly.

In the car on the way to my apartment, I asked, "so what's your plan? In like life."

"Tyler and my band. That's my plan A. I guess I've never thought of a plan B. I just always have the foolish hope that my plan A will work." He spoke with so much passion. "Oh, we finally settled on a name for our band too."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, twenty one pilots. All lowercase, all spelled out. Cool, huh?"

"Yes, very. Why that name?" His eyes widened and brightened so much when he talked about this band, it was an undeniable love of his.

"Well, it's because of the play you're studying, All My Sons. And apparently, in this play, this guy has to make a choice whether or not to send out parts for an airplane that he knows are bad or not. If he sends them, people could get hurt, if he doesn't he could get fired and not have money for his family." I nodded along as he retold to me a familiar story, "So he ends up sending these broken parts and because of it, 21 pilots died. It's like a reminder to us that we will always have choices to make, but we might not always do the right thing."

"Wow. That's pretty deep." I said in awe of how cool that actually was that Tyler saw so many layers in the play that's been assigned for 3 days.

"Yeah. Tyler seems like super goofy and dumb all the time, but really he's super smart about emotional stuff like that." He said as we pulled up to my apartment complex.

On our walk up to my apartment, I suddenly became very worried that this 23-year-old guy that I hardly knew was thinking that more was going to happen than I intended... "Stop thinking like that, there's no way someone as sweet as Josh would make a move that fast. He's a good guy." I was probably right. But my anxiety grew bigger as I unlocked my door and walked into my cheaply decorated apartment.

"Wow." Josh said to interrupt my train of negative thought, "I have never seen a college student's apartment to ever be this clean." He laughed as I lightly punched his muscled arm.

I made popcorn while he picked out a movie. (Only the 5th time he agreed to let go of my hand.) a movie started as I was sitting down.

"What are we watching?" I asked sitting next to him on the couch, he clasped his hand around mine.

"It's called Juno. It's funny." I smiled.

"Joshua William Dun, Juno is my all time favorite movie."

"I regret telling you my middle name, Allison Lucille Blackwell," He said, pretending a pout. I rested my head against his shoulder and tucked my feet up on the couch.

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When the movie was over I looked at the clock, it was almost 9.

"I better get going, Ally." Josh said sadly as he stood up, still holding my hand.

"Okay, Josh. Thank you for everything. I really had fun today." I walked him to the door. He stood in the hall, I stood in my apartment, still holding hands.

"You, miss Allison, are most welcome... I only live 10 minutes away. If you feel scared, or sad or need anything, or even if you're just feeling bored, call me and I will be here so fast. Okay?"

"Okay, Josh. Goodnight." I smiled at the ground and so did he. He kissed my hand that he had been holding all day. This ran a cold shiver through my body, but also filled me with warmth.

"Goodnight, Ally." He said in a low voice before letting go of my hand walking down the hall.

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See? I promised chapters would get longer. Please comment what you think so far and don't forget to vote!