Falling Too ~ Josh Dun

Twenty Three

Trigger warning, please let me know if you want me to summarize what happened. 

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Several hours later we were exiting a coffee shop with drinks in hand. There was a small park just across the road, Josh pointed towards it and I nodded. We sat down on a bench facing a small fountain, he placed his arm around me, firmly. We sat in silence sipping coffee and people watching. There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask Josh. The image of the scars on his leg still burned in my mind. I was used to being the one that hurt more and had more problems, I was unsure how to act on this side of it all. I decided just to pick one question and ask.

"When did you start cutting?" I asked quickly, refusing to look at him.

"What? Oh um, I must have been about 16 or 17." He said also staring intently at the fountain. "What about you?"

"I was older, I think about 18. Crazy how it seemed like a good idea at the time, huh?" I moved my eyes to look at him but left my head in the same place. He just nodded solemnly.

"How long have you been clean?" His eyes flitted from the fountain to his cup of coffee.

"I think about 5 months," I answered trying to catch his eye, "What about you?"

"Two years in a week or so. And no, it's not a coincidence that I've known Tyler for about two years." He said with a small smile.

"He's a really good friend isn't he?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, the best. He has saved me more times than I can keep track of" He took a sip of coffee. For a few minutes longer, we sat in quiet, but we were happy. Once again, I felt the need to break the silence.

'Hey, Josh, what was your nightmare about? The night after the lake." I asked quietly. I expected him to not answer right away, but he answered quickly.

"Losing you." He looked up at me. It was hard to read his face, but this is the longest we've been serious around each other in a while. His arm was still draped around my shoulder squeezed me in tighter, I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Should we keep walking?" he asked and kissed my forehead. I nodded and smiled at him. We kept walking through the park as we finished our coffees. There was an elderly man playing the violin slowly walking towards us.

I instantly recognize the tune from my childhood.

"La Vie En Rose!" I said excitedly turning to Josh he smiled widely and took my hands we danced around in the middle of the park, we weren't good but we didn't care. Josh giggled often.

"Should I play it again, M'lady?" The gentleman asked in a thick French accent. I nodded quickly. He started the simple tune up again. This time Josh gave me one twirl and pulled me in close, I began to sing the words I knew well.

"Hold me close and hold me fast

The magic spell you cast

This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me, Heaven sighs

And though I close my eyes

I see la vie en rose"

The man began to play more loudly and with more passion. I sang the next few verses, gaining more confidence.

"When you press me to your heart

I'm in a world apart

A world where roses bloom

And when you speak

Angels sing from above

Everyday words

Seem to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me

And life will always be

La vie en rose"

Josh hummed the tune a long to my words, to my surprise another couple joined us dancing in the square.

"I thought love was just a word

They sang about in songs I heard

It took your kisses to reveal

That I was wrong and love is real"

The song ended and I, Josh and the two other couples that had joined us clapped for the man that had the violin.

"How did you know all the words?" Josh asked, holding my hand.

"My grandfather always sang that to my grandmother, before he passed away. I hadn't heard it in years."

"That's really sweet," Josh said with a large smile. We walked aimlessly around the park for another few minutes before Josh's phone started to ring. He sighed and took it out of his back pocket. As I expected, it was Tyler on the other end of the line. We paused by a bench.

"Hey, Tyl- yes. I do know what time it is. I don't know like 20 minutes. Okay, okay. Yeah, I know. Okay, we'll leave... yeah. Bye..." Josh hung up and looked at me dejectedly, "We have been summoned by sir control freak."

I giggled and grabbed his hand. I knew that Josh really did love Tyler but it was funny seeing him so annoyed sometimes, "We best be off then, we mustn't upset our queen." I said as we spun around and starting walking back to the van. We talk about various things along the way. I asked about setlist and nerves and how he was holding up. All of which he responded in his typical cheery way.

We were back at the hotel sooner than I would have liked. Josh turned off the van but remained fixed to his seat. He gave his third huge sigh in 5 minutes.

"In a few years you'll be playing sold-out arenas and you will look back at this and laugh," I said hoping to lift his spirits. He rolled his eyes and looked at me,

"Let's hope so." He gave me a quick kiss and got out.

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Tyler was shockingly calm, given the circumstances. By the time we had gotten back it was time to start loading up the things we need. Josh and I changed into what he was going to wear, a simple red shirt, ripped black jeans, and the white pair of Converse he had been wearing all day. I went for a similar style but wore a black skirt in lew of jeans.

We both looked each other up and down and kissed. "We look good," Josh stated nodding his head.

Several minutes the four of us piled back into the van to go find the small coffee shop we were playing at.