Taylor Squared- Love Story

Chapter Thirty One- Everythings Different Now

Swift's P.O.V

Everything is different now. I can't even look at myself in the mirror these days. My self esteem has gone way down, and I can't even bare to think of Taylor or my stomach gets caught in knots. Why did I do that? Why did I let it go that far? Why didn't I stop myself? Why am I still so addicted to John?

It's that time of year again: Award show season. The Grammy's were amazing this year! I won five awards. That made me feel a lot better about the last month. I saw John and I went over to talk to him. My mom wasn't to happy, but whatever. It's MY life. I can't help who I fall in love with.

"Hey John!" I greeted him with a big hug.

"Hey Darling." He hugged back

"I've missed you!"

"Same.."

He sounded distant, but I just brushed it off. He was probably just disappointed he didn't win anything. I can honestly say, I know the feeling.

"TAYLOR! JOHN! Can we get a picture of you?!" A photographer shouted at his.

John scooted a little closer to me, then he wrapped his left hand around my hip and I put my right arm around his lower back.

"SMILE!" he shouted at us.

and so we did. It felt different then before we did what we did.. But I dont regret that he was my first. I don't regret it at all. Sure, I efel terrible and I can't really even bare to look at myself, but I'm just growing up, and John is a great guy. He's not taking advantage of me! I mean, he's still talking to me after what happened, right? Guess who proved her mom wrong, Me.

John bent his lips down next to my ear and whispered,

"There's an after party soon, and I'd be honored if you were my date.."

Just those words sent chills down my back.

I whispered back,

"Of course."

My mom saw us and came over.

"Nice to meet you, Johnathan. I'm Andrea, Taylor's Mom." He shook her hand.

"John," He smiled, "Nice to finally meet you." He said back

This was extremely awkward for me, and probably John too. My mom doesn't know anything that happened and I'm debating on whether to tel her.. I tell my mom everything, I always have, but I don't think I could look at her afterward s. I'd be so ashamed. Plus, She'd probably think I'm a tramp, but I'm not.. Am I?

"Hey Mom, John invited me to an after party.. Is that ok If I go?" I smiled my innocent smile at her

"Sure, just no drinking, Taylor Alison."

"I know, I know Mom.." I blushed. She always knows how to embarrass me in front of the cute guys.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Swift, I'll make sure nothing happens to your daughter." He gave a sincere smile

"Thank you." My mom gave a half, fake smile in return.

I can tell she wants to rip his face off, she wishes he was Taylor, and at times, so do I.

Lautner's P.O.V

I was creeping on the internet when I typed in Yahoo so I could check my email to see two things hopefully, 1) If the writers of Abduction sent me the new version of the script, and 2) If Lily emailed me back.

We didn't get a chance to exchange numbers back at the hotel, but the director did give me her email. Maybe it's fate she was at the same hotel as me, maybe it was sign.

I thought I believed in fate, love at first sight, and signs and what not.. But Taylor changed my outlook on ALL of that. I could have sworn she was the one, and for six months, she made me believe it too.

But when Yahoo finally loaded, the first thing I see was John and Taylor. Great.

The article read:

"Love birds John Mayer and Taylor Swift steam up the Grammy award show with their hot PDA. According to a source close to Mayer, she was sitting in his lap the whole night with her hand on the inside of his leg, whispering in his hear. Just like teenagers. There is more than just kissing going on here, stay tuned for more info on the hot Hollywood music couple."

Whatever, I seriously think he is going to give her a disease. How can she be that dumb? That's his reputation, a man whore, and then he's going to break her heart, and she'll turn her pain into a hit song. That's how it ALWAYS goes, it's a cycle. But I can't help but wonder if she's going to write a song about me.. Good or bad.

It's February 9th, 2010. It's crazy how fast time flies! My birthday is only in a few days.

The only thing I truly want for my birthday is Taylor. Maybe a call or text would be nice.. But I doubt that will happen after our blowout in font of the hotel, But a guy can hope.

The good guys always win in the end. So, let's hope I do. But then again.. I don't know if I could even look at her the same after I heard her. Or hold her the same, love her the same, or kiss her the same way I used too after I heard them at the hotel awhile back. That was like a stab in the heart, then she lit in on fire then drove over it with a car.

It's not that I didn't want to do the same thing she did with John, I did. Every guy does, especially with Taylor.. But I wanted to be respectful and respect HER wishes. I didn't want to seem like that's all I wanted from her. But I also wanted to wait till a certain time, and obviously she couldn't.. She knew John for like, a day. Maybe that's why she broke up with me..

Now that I think about it, I guess I didn't give her EVERY part of me.