It's My Life ~Linstead

Part 17

A/N the couch scene from 3x05/06 is going to be mentioned in here. For the story's sake let's pretend that it happened after Jay  got home from visiting Alex in the hospital in the story that came before this, 'Don't Give Up ~ Linstead' on @clodagh324

*3 hours later, in Erin's hospital room, just Jay and Erin*

I was woken up from my restless sleep by something touching my face. I groaned and tried to move away from it so I could try and get some more rest, but I was stuck in place by the guard rail on my hospital bed. So, I popped one eye open to see what it was. When my eye opened, I was met with Jays sparkling ones. He leaned forward again and pressed more soft kisses against my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, and finally my lips. I half sighed half groaned when he pulled away again.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to kiss you," he answered.

I smiled at the memory that his words brought back. It was the day our 'thing' turned into 'something', and the day my life changed for the better. Oh, happy days. I want to be having one of them right now, not one in the hospital.

I looked over Jay's shoulder at the clock hanging on the wall and could just barley make out the time- 3:24 am. Why would Jay be waking me up this early. It doesn't make much sense, until I think back to the last time I was awake, which was 2 hours ago. then, I think back to the time before that, which was another 2 hours before that. Then I remember, there was  an accident at the crime scene, I was rushed here and passed out in Jay's arms, there was the snotty hospital investors, Alex was blaming herself for everything, then I sent her home with Hank to get some sleep tonight because I have to be woken up every 2 hours because of the possibility of a concussion and I didn't want to disturb her.

My smile widened a little at the thought of me being able to remember all of this on my own. I'm definitely doing better than I was a few hour ago. Then it darkens when it returns to the fact that Alex was  blaming herself for all the awful things that that psycho bastard did.

Jay, who was going between looking at me closely and kissing my face, notices the change in my smile and lightly grips my chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger to maneuver my head up so he can look me in the eye. "Hey," he says softly, "what's up with you? Why did you just go from happy to happier then back down?"

A sigh finds its way out of me as I prepare myself to voice my feelings out loud. I've gotten so much better at opening up to people- okay, I've gotten so much better at opening up to Jay and Hank, but they're people so, yeah- but I still feel a little hesitation about it. None the less, I open my mouth and reply any way. I tell Jay that I was happy because I remember the day on the couch, I was happier because I can remember all of the events of the day on my own, and then I got sad when I remembered how Alex blamed herself for everything. The entire time I  am talking, Jay just nods and holds me close to him, and I don't miss how his thumb is rubbing soothing circles into my back.

When I finally get done with my recount of events, Jay takes his time responding. He is taking so long that I would be convinced he's sleeping again if I couldn't see his eyes pouring into mine.

"Well, it was  a good day, that day," he starts off with, then continues, "and it's a very good thing that you can remember everything on your own, it kinda makes not sleeping all night worth it," at this, he winks at me and flashes his signature grin. "And as for the whole, all-bad-things-are-my-fault concern, I think I might know where she gets that from...it seems to be that my girls are incapable of seeing all the good they do in the world."

My thoughts slide a little when I think about that last part, about me doing good. I mean, I know that I do good, I'm a cop for goodness sake!  I know I do good outside of work, too, like when I do stuff with Alex or make Jay smile, but that kind of stuff is harder for me to recognize and acknowledge. I do recognize it, it just takes a bit.

I focus again to see Jay staring at me, waiting for a response. In his eyes I can see that I have Jay more than a little panicked about the effects of his last statement, and I decide that what's life if I'm not messing with Jay.

"Jeez, Halstead, blame me for all her bad habits, why don'tcha? Shopping, even though I wouldn't consider that a bad one- but according to you it is so I'll give it to ya, then there's her  sassy-ness, and now for negative concerens..." I retort in a half broken voice.

Jay immediately starts back peddling about how that's not what he meant, blah blah blah. Of course, I know this, and it's a good thing my face is tucked into Jays chest or else he'd be able to see the smile spreading on my face and the teasing look in my eyes. I have to admit, it's kinda funny to watch him struggle. But  only for a little bit, then it gets painful because he's trying so hard.

When it gets to the point that it's uncomfortable, I duck out of Jay's arms and lean up to cut him off with a kiss. When I pulled back from it, my teasing expression is met with a confused and concerned one. It took a few second for it to settle in that I'm just teasing but once it does, a look of pure relief crosses Jay's face. 

"That was not funny, Mrs. Halstead. Not funny at all." Jay grumbled before kissing my lips and folding me back into his arms for the remainder of my night at the hospital.

Ok, First off I want to so that I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOREVER!! I've just been so busy, and it's not even the school year yet. Also, another huge reason that I haven't updated this story or my other one is because I've been enjoying reading all of you guys' stories, so please keep writing them, I love to read them! Second off, I want to thank you all for the positive reviews, that's what motivates me to write at night when my mom thinks I'm sleeping😂😂Don't forget to comment and vote!

~🖖