RAISING SUMMER

YOU THOUGHT I HATED YOU THEN I DEFINITELY DO NOW

"Are you ready for this?" Lucy cheered.

"No." I sighed getting ready in the bathroom as Lucy waited for me.

"C'mon Jane, we are kid free it's going to be amazing."

"I don't know about you but I am perfectly happy spending the night with Summer counting down to the New year." I explained.

"Wow how sad." Lucy whined.

"Do I have to go to the party?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Why." I interrogated.

"Don't ask stupid questions." Lucy stated. "Now hurry up I want to see how it looks on you."She begged. I dragged out of the bathroom in heels with my hair pinned up. I fingers traced over my black dress with lace accents fading in towards my hips.

"Omg, I want my dress back." She whined.

"It doesn't look that good." I rolled my eyes.

"Take a damn compliment Jane." She rose to her feet.

"You are going to be breaking hearts." She laughed. "Alright, you ready now?"

"Yeah just let me grab my coat." I grabbed my leather jacket off the back of my bedroom door. Before heading out behind Lucy and Mark.

***

People dressed nicely scattered in the front of the venue. Wearing cheap party hats, necklaces and glasses. Lucy immediately grabbed a glass of Champagne.

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting to drink a glass of you." She smiled deviously at the glass as I rolled my eyes. We were extremely fashionably late as Lucy put it. I grabbed a glass of Champagne and stuck to Lucy's side. I made small conversations with strangers. And politely ignored the strange single men that hovered around searching for a special lady to kiss at midnight. After Lucy's speech began to slur I left Lucy to Mark. People danced wildly, glittery New year memorabilia littered the room. The more people that arrived and danced the hotter the room became. My phone rang violently in my pocket as I searched for an exit or better yet a quite empty room. I made my way between two french doors that lead to a balcony as my phone rang and I searched my pockets. I glanced at the screen before instantly pressing the answer button. A picture of Luke and Summer illuminated the screen as I answered it quickly.

"Hello?"

"Is this Jane?" A woman answered the phone.

"Yes this is Jane, who is this?" I asked, expecting Luke's voice.

"This is Annie with Anderson West Hospital, We have noticed that you're listed as an emergency contact for Lucas Barrett, he's been in an accident."

"I'm on my way." I hung up before racing through the french doors to Lucy and Mark.

"What the hell happened to you, you look like you got hit by a train." Lucy joked.

"I got a call from Luke."

"Oh that explains it..."

"Lucy, he's in the hospital." I explained.
***

On the car ride with Lucy and Mark, I was barely keeping myself together. I was so confused and emotional. I was mentally preparing myself for the worst, preparing to lose someone I love again. But I was attempting to gather my thoughts in hopes that if it wasn't the worst, what would I say to the man who left me alone to raise Summer. I didn't know what to expect as I pushed through the hospital doors. I had little knowledge of what happened to Luke. I couldn't decipher my feelings either. I couldn't decide whether I was angry at him for leaving me or whether I was going to cry because I couldn't lose him too. I didn't know how to feel. I walked up to the desk.

"Lucas Barrett?" I asked.

"Let me see...Room 1221." A lady answered me. Lucy and Mark trailed behind me as I walked slowly down the hallway to the room Luke was in. I took deep steady breaths as I approached the dreaded door. I reached my hand for the doorknob, closing my eyes for a second as a tear escaped onto my cheek. Shouts emerged from the room as I twisted the door handle.

"Where are you going sir? You can't leave, you haven't been treated yet."

"I'm fine! I have to leave before..." The nurses tried to pin him down until their attention focused on me in the doorway. Luke glanced in the same direction as the nurses. "Janey?" He stared at me. I said nothing as I walked up with tears in my eyes. My face remained expressionless. As I approached him before I stood directly before him. He stared at the ground as if he was ashamed to look me in the eyes.

"Before... I got here." I finished his sentence. I wiped my tears and sniffed.

"Is he okay?" I asked the nurses.

"A few cuts and bruises but we were going to..." I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the information. Before my fear turned to rage. My hands balled up into fist. As I started to cry.

"I can't believe you! You selfish bastard!" I shouted. "You left me with a baby for two months!" I started pushing him away. "No calls no nothing!" I pounded on his chest angrily with my fist. "And you got Summer and I a dog that pees everywhere!" I sobbed. "I hate you!" I repeated multiple times as the nurses debated calling security.
"I needed you and you left me!" I sniffled.
"I loved you and you left Summer and I alone. On Christmas!" I shouted. "Now it's New Years eve and you need help and you call me like it's no big deal!" I recalled. It was seconds to midnight and I was beating up an already battered Luke. "I was terrified that something awful happened to you because you are one of the only people I have left to love. And I can't lose you again! And you were getting ready to abandon me before I even arrived." I sobbed.

Luke placed head in his cold hands before bringing my lips to his as I sobbed. It was midnight. I pulled away still trying to catch my breath from crying.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I tried to calm myself down.

"She crawls now and talks just like Rachel but she called me mom. And I don't know what to do." I sobbed.

"We'll figure it out, I'm going to come home."

"Please don't leave me again. I can't do this without you." I pleaded.

"I promise." He held me as I sobbed into his chest, his warm arms wrapped around me. As I listened to the familiar rhythm of his heart I didn't feel alone anymore.