RAISING SUMMER

-NOT THE B WORD-

-DONT READ PAST THIS POINT EDITING IN PROGRESS THIS POINT FORWARD-

I stood in the freezer aisle with Summer in a baby wrap close to my chest. I grabbed a couple packets of vegetables and tossed them into the cart. I had been out running errands all day. If I was being completely honest I didn't want to go home to find out whether Luke remembered or forgot the occasion. I did everything in my power to throw him off. Even if it meant telling him the wrong date. I didn't want to celebrate my birthday. It was a dreaded holiday that I grew accustomed to forgetting, Not that I cared about it anyway. So I forced myself to leave the house and where even for a small second Luke couldn't connect the dots. I went down the chip aisle and grabbed Luke's favorite snacks and mine too. I attempted to reach my favorite bag of chips from the tall rack above me. Summer examined me curiously with a delicate little smile on her face. I braced her head with my free hand to prevent her head from bouncing as I hopped softly up and down like an idiot trying to grab a bag. I sighed hopelessly.

"Jane, Jane Anderson?" A familiar voice called out from behind me as I turned to it. The voice belonged to none other than Liam Roberts an old friend from highschool.

"Liam? Oh gosh I haven't seen you in forever." I stated.

"Been about 5 years." He started as he walked up to me.

"You sure have changed." I stated.

"Yeah the marines sure do whip you into shape." He stated.

"You look great." I complemented.

"You too Anderson, I never would have thought you would have been a mom at what, 20?" He smiled at Summer.

"Yeah as of today 23, this little squirt is kind of sort of..."

"Complicated." He finished.

"Yeah. Hey, could you do me a favor? Can you reach those bags of chips up there Luke usually does the grocery shopping." I asked.

"On one condition. You go out for lunch with me as a birthday treat. I can help you reach all the groceries you can't and it would be a nice way to catch up." He suggested.

"Sure." I gave in and stepped out of his way as he retrieved the bag of chips and handed them to me.

*****

I sat Summer in her car seat in the child seat at the restaurant in the outdoor autumn air, next to Liam and I.

"So Luke huh?" He asked.

"What do you mean Luke?"

"You and him are together? She looks like you and him too." He referred to Summer.

"Luke and I, no, never." I chuckled.

"Luke is Rachel's brother right, how is she? You two were inseparable in highschool." He asked and I could feel my throat tighten.

"It's complicated, Rachel was actually pregnant with Summer, Summer belongs to her." I answered.

"Oh I get it your babysitting." He suggested.

"Not really. I have had Summer since she was born. Rachel passed away a couple of minutes after Summer was born." I explained and crossed my arms uncomfortably.

"Jane, I am so sorry I had no idea." He apologized and grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It's okay." I sighed. "Anyway I was given custody of Summer since I'm her Godmother. I am one of the only people she has left." I explained.

"What about Luke?" He asked.

"Luke barely even knew that she was pregnant and besides Luke could barely pass sex ed class let alone take care of a baby by himself." I chuckled and Liam laughed with me.

"That sounds like Luke." He smiled. " So you two aren't together." He asked again.

"No he wants to be in Summer's life and neither of us can do it solely on our own so he's living with us." I told him.

"That's pretty rough, you've been through a lot already in highschool and now this, I gotta tell you, you are definitely the strongest woman I have ever met Anderson." He smiled as the sun illuminated his face.

"Thanks, that means a lot." I smiled at him.

"Are you doing anything else for your big day?" He asked.

"No not really I went out of my way to make sure Luke forgot about my birthday, I like to keep my birthday quiet and as far as I can tell Luke is not a quiet person."I confessed.

"Well then Anderson your secret is safe with me. He lifted his glass of coffee. "Well cheers I hope your birthday is all that you want it to be." He flashed a white smile as we clanked our cups together.

***

I approached the front door with Summer close to my chest and a handful of groceries. I stumbled through the door dragging the groceries behind me.

"Surprise!" The room erupted as people jumped up from unknown hiding places. I dropped the groceries as my heart jumped in fear.

Luke approached me with a giddy look on his face as everyone walked around proud that they carried out the surprise as planned.

"You thought I forgot, didn't you." Luke crossed his arms.

"Seriously. How did you know?" I asked.

"Well when you stopped telling me to go buy a damn calendar everytime I asked you what the date was I kinda knew something was up."

"You know I hate surprises!" I scolded him.

"I know, why do you think I did it? Plus I love to see you squirm and flustered." He whispered in my ear with a sarcastic grin on his face.

My night was drowned out by all the happy birthdays I recieved. Luke was definitely having more fun than I was. Lucy approached and handed me a drink.

"I can't drink, I have to watch Summer." I pushed the drink away.

"Sweetie don't worry about it Luke walked Summer over to my house we have my sister Camille watching them overnight and trust me she knows how to watch kids she's had plenty." Lucy laughed and threw back another virgin Shirley Temple.

"Now drink up, I love my kids but the closest thing you will ever have to fun again in the future is a trip to the grocery store or even worse goodwill. So you might as well make the most of it." She advised me. Luke announced a drinking game called not the B word, the rules were everytime someone told me happy birthday I had to drink. Luckily people tried their hardest not to say it so I was still somewhat sober by present and cake time.

Everyone eyed me as I opened present after present and then Luke handed me a medium sized box. I opened it carefully as everyone watched anxiously like I was defusing a bomb. I pulled out a couple of bathing suits, sunscreen, tanning lotion sunglasses and a sunhat until I pulled out a smaller package the size of my wrist with two roundtrip tickets to a beach resort in California. I was super excited as everyone watched my reaction to the present that everyone helped play a part in.

My stomach twisted in happiness or so I thought. My stomach began to take a turn on me as I placed the box back on the table and bolted to the restroom. I threw up all the contents in my stomach into the toilet. Luke came up behind me and held up my hair and patted my back as I hurled for about an hour. Lucy and her husband all cleaned up the house as I refused to leave the bathroom. Lucy switched places in the bathroom to help me shower my throw up off of me and I got dressed. Since the trip left tomorrow Lucy and Mark agreed to watch Summer for the week. I fell half asleep on the bathroom floor after Lucy left and Luke packed our bags. He walked into the bathroom and slouched down to the floor and handed me some ibuprofen, water and ginger ale and carried me to bed.