RAISING SUMMER

ALREADY GONE

I woke up Summer laid rolled over in her crib awake cooing. Luke was no longer sleeping in my bed but his imprint was still there. I picked Summer up and sat her on the bed to change her. After I folded the straps over her diaper and carried her to the kitchen.

"Luke." I called aloud through the silent house. The only response I had was the echoing of my own voice through the halls.

"Where's Luke?" I asked Summer knowing I wouldn't get an answer from her. I searched through the house looking for Luke at every corner.

"Luke c'mon answer me." I shouted. I looked in the garage only to find Luke's motorcycle gone.

I sat Summer on her favorite pink fuzzy blanket with her favorite toys. As I went to go grab her pacifier from her crib upstairs. I passed by Luke's bedroom noticing his door wide open. I opened the door, glancing at the empty room. His dresser drawers were pulled out unevenly, and completely stripped of their belongings. Bare hangers were scattered along the closet rod and the floor. I raced to his bathroom looking for anything but his belongings were all gone. I noticed a note on the back of his bedroom door. I snatched it off the door, reading it quickly and carefully.

I'm sorry Janey but by the time you read this I will already be gone. This is what's best for you and Summer. I understand that now and I won't interfere with your and Summer's happiness. I love you both.

A tear fell from my eye and dripped onto my cheek. I pulled out my phone frantically dialing Luke's number before racing downstairs with the phone against my ear. The ringing died out to the voicemail.

"Hey this is Luke you know what to do." I listened to his answering machine and for the following beep.

"Luke, please answer your phone... I didn't mean what I said last night please... I need you, we need you..." I pleaded, glancing at Summer with tears in my eyes as I watched her on all fours. Her sweet innocent blue eyes met mine as she giggled and took small and cautious steps in my direction.

I gasped shocked as more tears escaped onto my cheeks.

"She's crawling." I sobbed into the voicemail. Summer crawled all the way over to my feet. "Please Luke I can't do this without..." I sobbed picking up Summer as the voicemail ended abruptly. Summer smiled and rested her head on my shoulder as I sobbed.

"We're going to be okay." I comforted myself. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly disposing of the last of my tears. I swayed slightly calming myself down. I picked up some of Summer's toys before sitting down on the couch with her in my lap. I handed Summer her toys an quietly sobbed to myself. Part of me wondered why I was so selfish to say the things I did. I sighed to myself trying to hold back tears.

"It's all going to be okay Summer, we are going to be fine."