Parineeta

Fear Of Rejection.

I turned to him and found him already smiling.
"stop giving so much importance to yourself.. Mr Malhotra.. Ignore usse kiya jaata hai jo notice mei aata hai..jhoot unse bola jaata hai jinse sach chhupana ho.. Tumhe na mai notice karti hun.. Aur na koi jhoot bolti hun.."i said gritting my teeth while he gripped my hand at my back softly and i was left with nowhere to go.
"achha.. Anyways.. Aaj mera yeh brown blazer mujhpe achha lag rha hai na.."he asked and i looked at him confused.
Is he blind.. Or he doesn't know what he's wearing..
Manik tumhe kya tumhari mom ne tayyar kiya hai aaj.. I mean what brown blazer.. Tum kapde pehnte hue Khud ko mirror mein nhi dekhte.. You're wearing a blue round neck tee."i rolled my eyes at his stupidness but he... He.. Was smirking..
I looked back at him and he raised his eyebrows with a victorious smile.
Oh crap!
"and you say you don't notice me.. I told you right.. You shouldn't try lying to me when you know you can't"and his grip on my wrist loosened.
I moved away more towards Navya and Aryaman, though i never knew when did Navya come.
"so.. Best of luck to all the rockstars.. May the best win!"Nyonika ma finished her speech amd everyone began dispersing.
"Nandu.. All set.. We're gonna rock it this time.."Aryaman patted my back as we left just before Fab5.
"we'll see who rocks it.."Manik intervened from behind us amd i rolled my eyes while the rest if the Fab5 were smirking.
....
"next.."announced the peon standing in the wings and my heart rate increased. Music.. Is the last thing i would ever wanna lose in. I've already lost alot.. Love. That says it all.
The day had been so hectic with all the practices scheduled already that i couldn't know when the all the time passed and now we were standing in the wing waiting for our chance.
We were the second last team and i was pretty thankful about it. Though i had no second thoughts that i sang really good but when you have the judge already against for no specific reason then you ought to get worried.  And the worst part, whole of the college was going to be a witness to our performance and i wondered what if something got into Ustaad ji's head and he decided to not like our performance and instead humiliate us.
How embarrassing.. No Nandini think positive..
"Nandu.. Tum itni tension kyu le rhi ho.."Navya suddenly spoke in the silent wing where the last team, fab5 ofcourse, were busy tuning their instruments and checking their lyrics. "n.. Nhi vo bas Navya agar Ustaad ji ne meri vajah se hume reject kar diya toh.."i had tried speaking real slow but i guess the silence was too deafening for even a pin drop to be heard and therefore i suppose everyone out there heard me including the one i didn't want to.
"aisa kyu soch rhi ho.."Navya asked me as Harshad reached nearly to the end of his performance out there on the stage and all the sounds of hootings and whistlings hiked up.
"Navya Ustaad ji already mujhse bhot gussa hai.. Tum lead ban jao na please.."i requested her. Not that i was ever scared of singing in front of Ustaad ji but this wasn't about any random singing session. This was the selection for the most happening event of the city.
"kya bol rhi ho Nandini.. Dekho ustaad ji ka gussa alag hai aur yeh selections alag hai.. I'm sure vo aisa kuch nhi karenge please relax karo.. Abhi hum Arya ko dekh kar aate hai.. Tum tension mat lo.."she said and moved away trying to locate where Aryaman was while i again zoned out rubbing my palms tightly.
"Guyz.. We don't need to worry ab to koi competition hi nhi hai.."i suddenly heard Manik speak to his friends and the tension in my head silenced.
"dekho.. Saare bands ho chuke hai.. Unmein se koi humare competition ka nhi tha aur jo tha uski lead singer ko toh abhi se dar lag rha hai.. Hum yeh selections hi nhi yeh competition bhi jeet jaenge.."he said and the others giggled while i was back to cursing him and his over confidence.
Seriously! Fine now i will show what i am... You won't loose this competitor.. We would give you the toughest of the competition.. 😛🙅
"Next!"i finally heard the peon announce and i took a deep breath. Meanwhile Arya and Navya reached the stage from the other wing.
I walked on the stage and sat taking my veena in my lap while Navya sat on her harmonium and Arya on his Tabla.