Parineeta

My Girl

I stared at a flushed Manik, his eyes ardent like they were trying to communicate something but I couldn't understand.
"Nandini.. yeh kaisa naam hai.. ladki Punjabi toh nai lagdi.."biji announced and Manik and looked away trying to cover up the weird moment that just happened between us. My eyes shifted from biji to Shaina who proudly looked me from head to toe as I rolled my eyes and then at Manik who's face had changed like ten expressions in all this while, from looking like a proud husband or boyfriend, whatever he called himself in front of biji, to a love sick teen to an offended angry young man staring down at Shaina as she stared down at me. His grip on my wrist tightened but only a little as if he was conscious that alot could hurt me. I didn't realise when he noticed Shaina's expressions but in the moment he looked more offended at the way she looked me down than I felt.
"Nahi biji, punjabi nai hai, Lekin jaisi bhi hai perfect hai.."he said, his voice stern as if he was announcing it to the audience and it wasn't up for debate. A part of me melted under his grip but the other, more rationale part of me reminded me that I couldn't be fooled again.
But what if he really means it.. he's never talked to anybody about me like this..
No matter how much I reasoned with myself, my mind never seemed to let go off the past. All of this, the fight within me and the potential argument out in the lobby was frustrating me, and the fact that I couldn't sort either of them felt even more unnerving to me. It was clear that the until and unless I sorted the fight between my heart and my mind I couldn't sort anything that might happen in the lobby because I would have nothing to say.
Manik looked back at me in an attempt to pacify me and cover up for how biji and Shaina reacted but I couldn't bother about what they said when all my mind could think of were his words. I looked away and struggled a little in his grip in an attempt to indicate that I wanted to go and it seemed as if he'd understood.
"Biji chaliye mai aap sabko aapke rooms dikha deta hu.. Nandini bhi thak gayi hai.. hum aaj subha se jab se aaye hai.. kuch na kuch kaam chal hi raha hai.. toh sab aaram karlete hai.. aapko agar dinner aapke room chahiye hoga toh room service se aa jayegi nai toh.. dining hall mei sab saath mei dinner kar lege.."he briefed everyone and let go off my hand.
"Mai apne room mei.."I started and he looked at me. I realised that it'd been a while since I'd spoken and wondered if the people in the lobby took me to dumb.
"Haan.."Manik blinked at me understandably nodding his head and I shifted away sparing a last glance at Shaina who still stared at me, her eyes a mix of irritation and hatred, and biji. I folded my palms in a namaste and nodded my head looking at biji, finally taking leave. As much as I hated the fact that his biji did not approve of me and would still try to set him up with the Shaina girl, from what I'd understood, I couldn't disregard her.
I went back to my room, replaying the events from throughout the day. Even though I had had no real duty or responsibility, I still felt tired, it was like I'd had one of the most exhausting days and I just wanted crash but I couldn't. Just as I reached my room I remembered the mess I'd created of my bed with all the lehengas and dresses sitting across the bed and I felt irritated. The exhaustion felt more mental than physical. I knew I couldn't do another round of people and so I had to avoid going down to have dinner with everyone else. I entered the room after deciding to do the room service thing that Manik had suggested to his relatives and began clearing off the mess.

......

I woke upto a bright sunny morning amd I wondered why did it have to look like such a happy and eventful morning already. It was the kind of day when you tend to be on your toes and do all kinds of things. Even thee rays of the sun peaking into my room from the little spaces between the curtains seemed to be excited while I lay in bed hoping to get some more sleep. It wasn't as if I wasn't excited for the wedding function part of the day but what I was not excited was having to face my pre existing dilemma, questions, confusions, Manik and his relatives. I turned to the other side and closed my eyes in an attempt to get some peace before my brain realised that we were up and it went back to all those questions and confusions when I heard soft giggles  from outside my room. They were happy, excited giggles, like that of a little kid. I tried to listen harder. A girl. But nobody here had a little girl, not even with the relatives that came yesterday. And as far as I knew, Manik had booked the entire resort for the wedding and there was no way that another family could be staying here once the Malhotras set themselves in a place.
I tried piecing together the ifs and what's of the situation but there was no fruitful outcome and my curiosity was touching heights. I couldn't help it anymore.
I threw my covers off and walked towards the window of my room that overlooked the lush green garden of the resort. This was one thing that I loved so much about this resort. It was surrounded by greenery. Every room overlooked the lawns and gardens. It made for a fresh start of a new day, however much I hated waking up, I'd love to wake to such scenery everyday, if I could.
I held the curtains apart, trying to keep my eyes open as the sunrays pierced through my vision and clouded my view. I squinted my eyes and focused on listening to the sound of the giggles.
After a few minutes of looking around my eyes finally settled on a little girl playing with a ball in a distance. She was running back and forth but the distance between us and the bright sun made it difficult for me to see her face. All I could see were her long bouncing curls falling over her shoulders as she jumped around in a little blue frock. Looking at her enjoying herself under the sun, my mind went down to Medha and the day I had met her. She was out in the park playing all by herself just like this little girl, only that her hair were shorter and her height was smaller. But she would've grown by now. Kids grow up faster. It's been a year. I couldn't help but wonder where she was, what she was doing, did some adopt her or was she still at the orphanage. I wanted to ask Manik if he ever went back to her or did he just forget about her.
All this while my eyes were glued to the little girl, following every action of hers as she sometimes ran, sometimes jumped and then giggled as the ball slipped out of her hands. I was so engrossed in watching her play that I almost missed the presence of another person on the scene. Alittle distance from the girl stood a tall guy, in a blazer, his attire formal as if he was here for a business meeting. The guy seemed to be on a call since he had not moved his right hand from ear for a long time. As I began to notice the entire scene, with my eyes gradually getting acquainted with the brightness of the day, I realised that the little girl would often stop Playing, look at the guy on the phone monetarily, sigh and then go back to playing and eventually forget about him for sometime before she realised again and repeated the same probably hoping that the guy would get off the phone and give her the attention that she needed. It was a cute scene and as much as I adored, i felt a little irritated by the guy. By the looks of it, he looked like the little girl's father and I wanted to smack his face for being on the phone and not give his girl any attention. I watched for a little while longer before I lost my patience. Scurrying out of the room, I darted towards the lawn mumbling curses at the guy for ignoring the cute little girl and sticking to his phone when he was with her.
I marched my way into the lawn in my slippers, and towards the girl playing with her ball. I still couldn't see her face as her back faced me.
"Dude... What are you even doing?" I reprimanded reaching closer to the guy and the girl. I felt a sudden gaze at me and I assumed that I'd probably scared the kid, who was busy playing and now I had her complete attention but my eyes focused on ths guy, still busy on his phone, his broad back and brownish black hair and hus body posture resembled Manik's so much that had he not been in a formal attire I would have mistaken him to be Manik. But well Manik didn't have a daughter and this guy in front of me aas talking numbers, stocks and business and that couldn't be Manik. Manik was so far from business, it was almost like they were enemies.
My voice seemed to have had no effect on the guy as he continued mumbling over the phone without paying any heed. I moved a step closer to the guy and brushed hair aoff my face irritated at the guy's audacity. But before I could do anything further a sudden excited voice engulfed my senses and in no time I was held in place by two soft jiggly arms.
"Mummaaa.."the little girl hugged my excitedly. The joy in her voice was unexplainable. It was as she saw someone she was least expecting and in that moment the guy, almost as shocked as I was, turned around to face me and in that moment I felt my insides paralyse.
I stood facing a dazed Manik. He seemed shocked beyond core as he looked at me stand there numb. None of it was making sense. I couldn't gather the courage to look down at the girl. Another set of a million questions blasted inside my head like a timebomb, only that they settled right there, like ashes after a bomb blast. I stared at Manik emotionlessly while I could feel the girl cling to me harder hoping for me to reciprocate the hug. Manik closed his eyes as if he was caught in an unexpected situation which he probably was but all that my mind could wrap around was that there was a kid clinging to me, calling me her mother.
"Papa dekho mumma aa gayi.. mumma aa gayi.."the girl muttered again and I felt my eyesight blur. Manik was infact the father. What was going on? Who was this kid? I couldn't understand. There wasn't even a scientific explanation to whatever was happening here and it all seemed like a absurd comic play being put on display but the only difference was I did not have the script and I did not know the plot even though I seemed to be an integral part of it.
It was all getting more senseless every second. I had to see who the little girl was.
"Nandini mai.."just as Manik started I closed my eyes preparing myself for whatever was to come before looking down.
I was in for another surprise as I opened my eyes and parted the girl a little away from me to get a clearer look at her. In front of me stood an over excited Medha, her face a replica of the bright sunshine. She looked like a little bundle of happiness. Her excitement was immeasurable. She had grown up. I would be called obsessed but she looked alot like me. She was dressed like me in Manik's favourite color. Her hairstyle, loose bouncy long curls, just like I used to keep mine. A little smile formed on my lips as I saw her look at me with hope in her eyes. Her eyes eventually shifted from me to Manik and then settled back on me. She wanted to hug me. Her little excited jumps indicated that she'd been waiting to hug for a very long time and despite all the questions that I had throbbing in my head, I couldn't not hug her in that moment. I slowly sat on my knees and brought her closer and took her into a hug and she clung to me like her life depended on it. I glanced at Manik and I was sure I saw a tear escape his eyes as he looked away wiping his face and wearing his shades. He looked around as if he did not want anybody else to see that he was having a moment. He knew I'd seen him wipe his face and it didn't look like he was trying to hide from me. I went back to hugging my little girl because no was not the time for Manik. It wasn't the time for questions and confrontations. It was Medha's time. But I knew I had to come back to it. I had to come back to Manik. And finally I had to talk to him. Ask him the questions that bothered me. Confront him and also hear him out. It was finally time to have the conversation I didn't know i wanted to have. I didn't even know if I was ready for it but all I knew was Medha missed me and I couldn't avoid it, I had to do it, for her. It was time to know what changed in this one year and where Manik stood right now. It was time to finally know everything.