Parineeta

Unsaid Connections

Manik:
"Anyways why do people think ki mai unhe leke ghumne mei interested hu... I would've preferred this long drive with my favourite people... people who would've been fun to be with.. and people who wouldn't keep rolling their eyes at me.." I said rhetorically and tried to maintain my gaze on the road, but a part of me desperately wanted to see her expressions, because this was Exactly what she wanted to hear, what she was expecting from me despite however much it would hurt her and so for this once I had to give it to her.
"I did not ask for this.. le aate apni girlfriend ko.. I anyways don't want to be anywhere near you.." she replied bluntly and I murmured an "ofcourse" with a slight chuckle.
I could see the hurt in her eyes as she looked at me through the mirror while I sat calm, smiling sarcastically and evilly. I would always know when you look at me Nandu. I knew whatever she would think of it but if I had to get her over all of that I had to give it to her all over again. I knew it would hurt her the same again, it hurt me to hurt her too but I had no choice.  She didn't take her eyes off of me as if trying to ask her questions silently through the mirror but I kept mine glued to the road instead only sometimes shifting to either sides kind of awkwardly. I had to avoid contact because if she still loves me the same, she'll know.
I drove almost as if I had flight to catch and I was already late and everybody else would think that I understood the urgency of the functions but the truth was that I was lost. Lost trying to plan my next moves to get through to her. She hadn't even responded to my texts I sent her this morning which could be for two reasons, one she knew it was me and did not want to talk to me at all, and two, she did not know who it was and did not want to engage with some random flirt. If it was the second one, there was a possibility that she still loved me the same, but if the first one then it was going to be tough to get to her.
I hadn't kept the speed in check and probably had driven exactly the way that Nandini hated because I took a glance at her and I could see her sticking herself to the seat, grabbing hold of the drivers seat for balance and looking really really annoyed.
"Manik yaha se left mei parking hai" i heard Cabir say softly while I was busy gazing at her through the mirror and she was busy looking outside and maybe even hating me in her head.
"Haan? Haan" I said realising that we'd already reached the destination of Alya's destination wedding.
The door of the seat where she was sitting flung open as soon as the car haulted, it was as if she was waiting to jump off and I couldn't help but shriek.
"Tumhara dimaag kharab hai, marne ka itna shauk hai toh pahadi se kudo, meri gaadi mei gymnastics mat karo" I looked at her from the window while she turned and walked away as if she hadn't heard anything.
"Kya hai Manik, jab vo nai thi tab tumne hum sabko pareshan kar rakha tha, ab vo hai toh tum usse aise baat kar rahe ho jaise tum chahte hi nai ho ki vo yaha ho" Navya said while I rolled my eyes. I was in mood to give any explanations to anyone because I knew nobody would understand what I was trying to do. I wanted Nandini to stay, but not because I or somebody else want her to stay, I want her to want to stay here, with me, with Medha, all of us, together, like before, like a family, and that won't happen if I keep begging her to stay or to listen to me, because I know the more I'll force her to stay the more she'll want to run away.
"Cabir tum hi samjhao isse, meri toh yeh koi baat nai sunta, aise hi chalta raha toh yeh iss baar bhi Nandini ko kho dega" she kept going on and on while Cabir lookes at me helplessly.
"Arey shut up Madhubala.. Cabir leke jaa na isse andar, tumhe kyu lagta hai ki mai bevakoof hun, aur mujhe aata hi nai hai cheeze handle karna, mai kar raha hu na, please just go" I finally broke my silence as she did not seem to have an end to her speech. I understand that she's worried for me. For a fact Navya has seen me suffer. It's like she wasn't just Nandini's soul sister but mine too. In the ine year that Nandini wasn't around I'd tried my best to look happy in front of everyone, be as normal for Medha as I could but Navya would always know what I was feeling on the inside. She knew when I was faking and when I was breaking. She always knew that a part of me was dying everyday without Nandini and I don't know how but we did connect differently. It was a unsaid connection, we never spoke to each other about any of it but she always got me like a sistee would and none of us have an explanation for this. Even now I knew she could feel that I was suffering, but I needed her to trust me but I couldn't say it out to her because we never did, so this is the best I could do to tell her that I was trying my best to handle it, deal Everything on my plate. I felt bad for shouting at her like this but that's tbe most expressive I'd always been around her and I didn't know what else to do.
Navya did not say anything else and walked away disappointed with my reaction. I looked at Cabir but he'd already gotten off the car and was taking out our stuff from the trunk.
"Tu Navya ki tension mat le, mai baat kar lunga usse" he dragged Navya's suitcase from the backside and stood by the car while I nodded and got off too.

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I know this is a really small update but I'm working on it. We all know the last year and especially the last few months has been a really traumatic experience for all of us, so please bear with my inconsistencies but I promise I'll try to be regular with the updates.
Guys this is a tough time for everyone, I hope everybody's doing good and is healthy, please stay home and stay safe and take care of your families, we're all in this together, and this shall pass too, it's just a matter of time, till then hold on and stay strong.

Loads of love
Srishti♥️