Parineeta

The Story Unfelt!

It's been two hours already and Medha was in her deep sleep leaning on me perfectly fitting in between me and the window. But it wasn't the same for me. Never had been since a year. None of my nights went by sleeping soundly. All that i ever thought in this one year was that how stupid i had been all my life.

This story of an idiot(me) and a princess(Nandini) started some 14 years back when she was nine and i was eleven. Too young to fall in love isn't it?but this princess was crazy. We had first met in our dads' party. Both of our dads had won a deal together and thus getting to work together and becoming the best of friends. There i had for the first time known that Nandini was in my school only but me being two years older to her, I was in the classrooms a floor over her's.
She wasn't much of a hype in school that time. Fab5 was the band of brothers back then, with me and Cabir. Mukti and Dhruv had joined us in tenth but that comes alot later in my story.
So it all began when i for the first time met Nandini in school right a week after the meet at dad's party. She as usual was going around with few of her best friends which included a different set of names all together and Navya. I couldn't spell half of them. That particular day she'd been given a dare by some weird guy of her class to go and propose to one of her seniors. My shy girl did try to find someone who wouldn't create much of a chaos out of this and all she did was find Harshad who i don't know why tried taking advantage of that dare and there i, the frog prince stood as the saviour to my love and pushed the already existing enmity with Harshad further and became the dearest friend to her. From that point began our friendship.
I was in twelfth when one fine day i realized that this princess friend whom i had tagged a best friend besides Fab5 had started falling for me. I ignored it. For long and long i thought it to be a mere infatuation but then i could sense her feelings but i was helpless. I never felt that for her. And the worst part was that i was sure that I would never even fall for her. She wasn't my types. Though by that time the shy princess had turned bold with her steps but still i knew she couldn't be my type. Really?
Time changed i left school yet had contacts with her, not much but still. She used to share things with me and i couldn't ever care much about it.
She was in eleventh and i was in first year when she had for the first time mentioned about this guy called Maddy. The first day that she named him i didn't pay much heed. But then days came when she only talked about him and all i did was convince her to give him a chance while on the inside something in me pinched each time she mentioned him. I felt replaced in her life. I didn't know why but it felt like getting betrayed in a non existing relationship.
Maddy stories continued until she joined my college and got to know that i was the lead of the happening band of the college. She was happy. I was happy too. In some way to see her close to me. Then on the day of joining she tumbled into Alya, who had become a part of Fab5 by then. I was forced to ask her to apologize to her and i had no option my best friends were my priorities.
I knew how she must have understood how much she meant to me then but what surprised me was that my Careless treatment towards her never did change her loving behavior towards me. I was always her priority besides music. Gradually she began securing her position as the singing diva of the college and Alya remained the barbie doll of the college. Nandini was passionate about music just like me but the only difference was that if ever she had to choose between me and music she would've chosen me but i wouldn't have.
Slowly Nandini became the hot topic among boys and the topic of grave concern for girls but whatever started irritating me were the eyes of the desperate guys who i knew dreamt of her on their beds including Harshad and that made me a little protective about her though i never made it evident.
I knew she was getting to know more about how less i cared for her when finally i started taking her for granted. No doubt i being the confused soul had no idea ever about what I felt for whom, i thought, i had started loosing interest in Nandini and that i made clear through my words to her anytime anywhere. That was when i discovered something new about Nandini. About her friendship with her scooty and cars. I got to know that whenever she got upset she used to go for long drives alone without telling anyone(at least i thought so because she never told me).
By the time we were quite a time at college she had managed to befriend alot of people at college along with fab5 (except Alya) and her best friend Aryaman and Navya was just a long lost best friend from school who had joined our college after a year and guess what she comes out to be that Maddy's sister and once again Madhyam Singhania was in picture only that he wasn't in our college but alas a part of their group.
All was going supposedly well until one day when our dads came up with the merger for a reason sort of thing and i the silly idiot spoiled or rather built up everything for me. I asked Nandini to fake marry me and that was when things changed. In a night her loving behavior changed cold. Everything else became more important to her. She changed. She was planning to bloody get married to Aryaman.. After our marriage.. They were thinking of the names of "their" kids.. Really! I wanted to smack Aryaman's face that moment but all that stopped me was the question 'why am i getting affected?' i stayed put for a few days trying to get things back to normal between us until that useless person interviened again. Madhyam singhania! A pain.. And all that he did was try his luck on my girl. His messages that i read on Nandini's phone made my blood boil.. He was planning to marry my wife after our  divorce and that was the moment i decided i wasn't going to give her divorce. I won't let him close to her she was mine.
But how could i forget Nandini wasn't any less. It was after our marriage that i got to know that her going on long drives secretly was actually known to all but me and the best part was nobody even tried to tell me. Nandini wasn't to end just here, I realized that when i for the first time felt something breaking in me when she told that she'd seen Madhyam too in a towel before me and that he had a better body than mine. All i wanted to know was why did she ever encounter him in that condition. Was there something that happened between them and i didn't know but she always said she loved me then how could she do that! No!
And then came the day when i lost her just because of something that i wasn't even sure of! It wasn't like i was upset about the thought that something happened between me and Nandini in fact my insides had felt happier than ever on thinking about spending a night with her and it felt like something that i had wanted to do forever. Spend all my days and nights with her but that time i was so very well convinced that i loved Alya that i actually lost my true love.
I never could understand what my own hearted wanted. Why it always pained me to see her happy because of someone else and not me. I never understood why i never wanted to leave her. Why her tears ached my heart.. Why i was always so adamant on keeping her close to me.. Why i had always showed her that i had all the rights on her. Why i never let anyone else speak about her against her or to her harshly. Why I always wished to keep her safe. Handle her delicate self with all the fragility. Why it tensed me when she wasn't around.
It was all because i had loved her... Since forever till eternity. She was my end and she was my beginning. I never knew that it was hers the first smile in the morning that lit my face. It was her face my favourite shining sun. Now. That I've lost my shining sun all i have is a frozen moon that fails to let the sun come up. My sunshine's lost and it's only darkness that surrounds me. A Night just dark without even the stars..
"the flight is about to land please put on your seat belts!"the air hostess's announcement broke my chain of thoughts as i came out of recalling my life and my mistakes.
Medha was still in deep sleep but it was time i wake her up. She was going to be so excited to see a new place. New York was gonna be her first experience. I wanted to do everything that could make it the best for her. Just. I hope we meet soon.. If not here somewhere. But soon.
Miss you Nandu!