Parineeta

Broke Or Broken?

Nandini's point of view :

Mujhko sazaa de
Ya chaahe bhula de
Tujh bin jiyun kyun
Bas itna bata de

He looked at me each time words escaped his mouth, but all i could do was look away from him. Something in his eyes made me guilty. Guilty for having left him. It seemed like every single word of his song was what he wanted to say to me.

Chahe hansa de
Ya chahe rula de
Itna hi chahun
Bas apni panaah de

Tu jo kahe
Duniya bhula doon main
Tujhko hi apni
Duniya bana loon main
Duniya bana loon main

Although I tried my best to pretend like i wasn't listening, we both knew i was.

Koi sehar si jo teri
Yaadein yaad aati hai
Bujhi bujhi raaton ko yun
Roshan kar jaati hai

Koi sehar si jo teri
Yaadein yaad aati hai
Bujhi bujhi raaton ko yun
Roshan kar jaati

Jo tu hai judaa
Khudse hoon khafa
Karde tu safa ik dafa

It looked like he was trying to tell me something. Confess to me about how he lived through these months without me..
He closed his eyes and for his last few lines even i felt a new kind of peace set in me. It was as if he had convinced my soul to be his already.

Tu jo kahe…
Duniya bhula doon main
Tujhko hi apni
Duniya bana loon main
Duniya bana loon main
Duniya bana loon main

Somewhere down i felt a little happier at the thought that maybe this song he'd sung was for me but then just when he'd kept his guitar by the side Mukti came rushing towards him as if something was really wrong.
"Manik she needs you.. Usse fever hai.. And she is crying badly.. Vo kisi ki nhi sun rhi!"Mukti shouted from the side of the stage and Manik's eyes shot in Mukti's direction.
In a moment my happiness came to an end as I saw him storming off the stage towards somwhere.
I wanted to go behind him. I wanted to know who this 'she' was. And why was he so worried about her but Maddy held my hand firm enough to not let me go.
"you can't fall weak.. You can't let him break you once more.. I told you he is not one to be single for this long time!"Maddy said holding me back.
I nodded though the inner me was still wanting to know who was the next to be in Manik's life but i guess i had to wait..
The next was Mukti's performance and as usual she chose what was the closest to her heart. She gracefully walked on stage with her electric guitar and rocked the evening in every sense. But even in her smiling face i could read the lines of tension on her forehead. Her eyes not for once had missed a chance to look in the direction where Manik had vanished in. Even Mukti was worried about the 'she' in his life. Had every god damned person here moved over me. Had they all accepted Manik's new 'she'! I was getting more and more curious to know about the girl. I wanted to know who was to take my place this time. I wanted to know how he could he just move on so easily. Was i never a part of his life? Does he not miss me like i do?
Mukti finoshed her song and was hurrying off the stage when Alya and Dhruv called out to her.
"we want to see her too Mukti! Is she okay?" Alya asked in a paining voice.
"haan suddenly usse kya ho gya! Abhi toh thik thi.. Yhan humare saath dance kar rhi thi! "Dhruv asked
" Dhruv Alya relax.. Fever hai.. I'm sure she'll be perfectly fine!" Mukti tried convincing them but tension was visible on all the faces.
" Maddy.. Yeh sab kya chal rha hai.. Navya se pucho!" i shook Maddy's hand but he was stiff as stone today. He looked at me gravely.
" koi zaroorat nahi hai..!" he said and walked out. I didn't know what was wrong with him. Why was he behaving like this?
I shrugged all my thoughts and looked around for Navya but instead i saw Nyonika aunty looking at me with tears in her eyes. I didn't want to face her. I did not want to ask her why was she crying but how could I stop my stupid heart that broke when i saw those pearls in her eyes. What was her mistake. She'd loved me with all her heart. Why was she suffering for her son's fault!
"maa!" i uttered unknowingly as she neared me.
"Nandu!" she said and i felt tears roll down my cheeks.
"ab aur kitni saza dogi!" she asked looking right into my eyes.
"maine toh aapko koi saza nhi di! Meri narazgi aapke bete se hai aur shayad humesha rahegi.. Par mujhe toh aapne paraya kar diya.. Mere jaane ke baad ek baar bhi mujhse baat karne ki koshish nhi ki!" i said, my heart breaking into pieces.
"toh tumne bhi toh kabhi palqt kar yeh jaanne ki koshish nhi ki mai kaisi hu! Tere papa kaise hai!" she complaint. It was surprising that she was the only one not worried about Manik's she!
"maa mujhe laga mai iss tarah chalu gyi isliye aap sab mujhse naraz honge.. Isiliye kabhi aapse baat karne ki himmat hi nhi hui!"
"apne bacho se koi bhala kab tak naaraz rahega! Aur teri toh koi galti bhi nhi thi.. Saari galti mere uss naalayak bete ki thi.. Lekin Nandini ussne apni saza bhugat li hai.. Ab maad kardo usse!" she said as she held my hands tightly.
"tumhare jaane ke baad toh jaise usne jeena hi chhorh diya hai.. Apna music kho diya hai usne..!" I looked at her my expressions turning cold.
"bhot mushkil se usse ek sahara diya hai maine.. Aur aaj vo jo kuch bhi karta hai vo Apne uss hi sahare ke liye karta hai.. Kyuki usse uss sahare mei tum nazar aati ho.. Bhot pyaar karta hai vo tumse.. Aur ab toh vo yeh haat maanta bhi hai!" she kept saying but all i felt was nothing. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't understand whatever she said.
" maa! Mujhe jaana hai!" was all that i could say as i released my hands out of her grip and left.

........
People there's a message I'd posted a few days back on my wall please go and check it!
Much love!