The Lone Wolf

Chapter 11

Soo... updates are coming quicker! yayy!!! they should stay to atleast once a week :]

And i really like this chapter, at least the end of it because it's sweet.

So if you like ti too, please comment and vote!!!!!!!!! I REALLY appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Oh an the song, obvisouly since she's not really a cowgirl, doesn't completely aply to Riley, but I like this song. :] 

Chapter 11

I spent Saturday hanging with my mom, but unfortunately I had to work Sunday.  There was no way out of it, especially since I had completely skipped work last weekend, thought I had managed to use Jamie’s death as my excuse.  Yes, horrible of me, but it was needed.

So when I came home from work, feeling accomplished since I taught a kid from Miami who had never seen snow before how to stop on skis, I felt particularly better than I had on Friday.

At least, I was until my mom dropped a “bomb shell” on me. 

“So, what do you want to do for Tuesday?”

I gave her a questioning look, not knowing what she was referring to.

“It’s been eleven years…” she said with a sad look on her face.

My jaw dropped.  How could I forget?  The anniversary of my father’s death was coming up in just two days.

“Oh my god…” I whispered.

“You forgot?” 

I looked up at my mom, thinking I’d see disappointment in her eyes or something, but all I saw was sadness as she tried to put a small smile on her face.  “It’s okay Riley, you’ve been busy lately with work and school and… other things that are going on.”

I shook my head, tears starting to fill my eyes.  “I still shouldn’t have forgotten.”

“Oh baby…” she whispered hoarsely, then gave me a hug.  We stood like that for a few minutes, until I got myself together again. 

“We should go out for dinner,” I said as pulled away from her.  “But before that, we should go bring flowers to the grave.  Does that sound okay?”

She nodded, tears slowly running down her cheeks.  “Okay.”

***

The anniversary of my father’s death is the only day I let myself be truly sad about losing him.  Sure I had those moments where I thought about what my life would be like if I had a father, but I never let myself linger on them.  And then of course the moments like the one I had with my mom Friday night, but those ones ore extremely rare.

So throughout all of Tuesday morning, his death was all I could think about. 

I had practically grown up at Jackson’s house after my father died.  I think my mom couldn’t handle staying in the house very often, so she decided to start to international flights.  But either way, I had never had a parent at any of my concerts or plays I had been in as a child.  But I was tough, just like my dad had told me to be before he died.  I pushed through and told myself it didn’t bother me.

But if he hadn’t died, my mother wouldn’t have taken up international flights, and then I’d have both parents there, always supporting me.

I felt anger rise in me at the thought.  But not at my parents.  At me.   I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts.  I grew up just fine.  Maybe it wasn’t always easy, but it made me who I am today. 

So instead of lingering on al the occasions where a father would have been nice, I started thinking about times in the future when having a father would be nice.