Too Much To Tell - Markimash

Chapter 2

The more I thought about meeting Aaron in less than a month when he came over for pax the more I felt panicky. My sleep wasn't improving yet, but I knew in time, with Dan's help I could begin to sleep properly again. Bob and Wade said meeting Aaron will be fine because we always phone and skype, but I knew it would be different and I knew it would be scary for me because I loved him. Bob and Wade didn't know that though, nobody knew, and that sorta scared me. I don't even know if Aaron would want to spend time with me at PAX, he might just want to spend time with his other American friends like Landan and Like Butter. I was worried he wouldn't actually want to hang around with me.

I was meant to be taking Bob and Wade with me to PAX but only Wade could come, so I guess it wouldn't be too bad if Aaron didn't come with us. It was about a 1 hour and 40 minute flight so that wasn't too long, and I though I might tell Wade about my sexuality on the flight if I felt up to it. I wonder what Wade would say, hopefully he'd just be easy going like he always is. I felt like I should tell him if something goes wrong, or if I suddenly feel really down. Maybe I should tell him now? No, I quickly shook off the idea, I didn't want to push myself to do anything, that would be too scary.

Aaron said he was coming to the US on a Thursday night, and he would go to PAX at the weekend. I wondered if I could see him on the Friday or something, maybe I could ask him, but he might just be hanging out with his other friends. I picked up my phone and opened my messages. I went on Aaron's and started typing,

me: when you fly over to Boston do you wanna hang out for one day maybe? x

I got really nervous while waiting for a reply, it was silly really, I was being ridiculous. Aaron didn't text back for a while, and when he did, I didn't know whether what he said was good or bad.

yami: yeah sure I'm completely free on the Friday, we can do whatever we want in Boston x

It was good news, but also bad, I could spend a whole day with Aaron, but what if things got awkward and what if I did something I regretted? I smiled and tooke a deep breath, I was gonna meet Aaron, I was gonna actually meet the person I had fallen in love with, I was ecstatic.

* * * Thursday, day before meeting Aaron * * *

It was about 5am and Wade was picking me up to go to the airport in half an hour. Aaron was in the middle of flying to Boston, he'd left about an hour ago. I was so nervous I felt like being sick, I was really scared. Wade was gonna come with me to meet Aaron with me, and we were gonna spend the day at the Franklin Park Zoo. I hadn't been to the zoo in ages, and going with Wade and Aaron was gonna be so good.

I'd probably vlog at parts of the zoo, it would be good for my subscribers, and I'd probably vlog parts of PAX too. I was so nervous, I had a huge case full of a lot of stuff, I kinda wanted to take 2 cases but I would have to pay extra. I had my laptop, camera, and some other junk. I didn't pack too many clothes but I didn't really feel the need to. I kept checking the time because I was so nervous. It said 5:25, Wade should be here soon.

At that moment I heard my door knock and I ran down to get it. "You ready?" asked Wade, "yeah hang on" I replied and went back upstairs to get my suitcases and everything else. "Are you excited?" Wade asked, "yeah but I feel nervous though" I said back. "Come on then" Wade turned around and we walked to his car and loaded up the boot. Once everything was in I walk round to the passenger seat and got in next to Wade. I didn't realise I was breathing heavily until Wade pointed it out. "You alright there Mark?" he asked in a jokey kind of way, "yeah" I breathed. I was actually so scared to meet Aaron, I knew it had to be done but what if my feelings got stronger, what if that made me more depressed?

It took about half an hour to get to the airport but the journey was fine because there was pretty much no traffic. We had to check in before half 6 and I was feeling agitated so we did it straight away. I kept rubbing my eyes from the early morning start, and so did Wade. We sat on some benches for most of the two hours on our phones and laptops. I'd downloaded an emulator on my laptop so I was playing pokemon. Me and Wade chatted for a while, but all I could think about was coming out to him on the plane, would I be able to do it? The worst thing was Wade thought I was straight, because he was friends with me when I had my girlfriend, but he didn't know we broke up because I had feelings for guys.

After what felt like forever out flight was called and me and Wade picked up our hand luggage before joining the queue to board the plane. "Do you wanna sit at the window?" I asked and Wade shrugged and nodded, "nahh I'd rather not, I prefer the seats in the aisle", "what the hell you're so weird who doesn't want the window!?" I said with a joking push. "Hey shut up it makes me feel sick by the window" Wade said and we were both smiling. "Shall we do a quick vlog?" I suggested "Yeah sure" I quickly pulled my camera out and started recording, "hello everybody my name is markiplier and I'm in the airport yaaaay. I'm here with Wade, say hello-" "hey!" "-and we're on our way to Boston for PAX so we'll keep you updated on our journey, BYE BYE" I stopped recording and turned back around to face the front of the queue.

We were about to board so me and Wade put everything back in our bags and we got on. I sat down against the window and put my seatbelt on, "how long's the flight again?" Wade said as he sat down, "urm I think it said 1 hour 50" "oh ok" Wade replied and did his seatbelt up. I put my phone on flight mode, and sat back listening to music. We had to take off before I got my laptopt out. A flight attendant came out and told us about the safety and then she went back and the plane lined up on the run way.

When we'd taken off I removed my laptop from my bag and started up pokemon. Wade was listening to music too, I wanted to tell him I was gay, but I didn't want to disturb him. I couldn't stop thinking about it, this was what it was like with my family, but I told my brother first and that made it easier. I thought I may as well get it over with, because it wasn't like Wade was going to hate me, even though it would be kinda embarrassing. I sighed and took a few deep breaths, oh god. I turned to face Wade and I tapped him lightly on the shoulder, he pulled out his earphones and looked at me.

"Hey Wade" I spoke, but quietly so no one could over hear, "what?" he asked. "I need to tell you something" I whispered. Wade paused his music and turned his full attention on me, "what is it? you can tell me anything mate" he said, also talking quietly. "I don't want you to treat me any differently when I tell you this" I said glancing up at his eyes and then averting eye contact, Wade was silent, I took a few deep breaths and then I opened up, "I- I'm gay". I sighed heavily, I felt really embarrassed and I just wanted to disappear.

"Mark you know you're my best friend right? Why would I treat you any differently?" He comforted me, "thanks" I sighed heavily. "Are you sure you're gay then?" Wade asked, "yeah, I know I had that girlfriend but we only broke up because I had feelings for guys" I still couldn't look at Wade even though I answered his questions, "do you like anyone now?" he asked. "Yeah, I do, I don't want to talk about him though, it hurts" Wade nodded, "well ok but if you need anything I'm here. Try and get some sleep, it's still early in the morning." "Yeah ok" I agreed and put my earphones in, Wade did the same.

I felt odd that I'd just came out to Wade, I kinda felt a little more free than I did before, and I kinda felt like I wasn't hiding so much. It was actually a lot easier than I expected to come out, but I'm glad I did it, it meant I could be more honest with Wade about my feelings.