Complicated Love

Chapter 15

Hey loveliesss, sorry ive been gone a while but school started again so im getting used to the new teachers and stuff... Anyway i will be updating as soon as i can and every chance I get... havent really gotten any feedback so i really hope yoou guys are liking the book.  lol im excited to see where this is going hopefully the right way.. anywayy ENJOYY

Luke POV

I'm sitting on my bed, scrolling through all the pictures looking for something to delete cause I need storage. A pictures catches my eye, so I open it and smile. It's a picture of me and Jen when we were first dating. I was carrying her on my back and we both had the biggest smile on our faces standing in front of the beach. I sighed and took a deep breathe. I had lost her. I lost the best thing that happened to me all because I couldn't realize what was right in front of me. I find it incredible she even talks to me and we can still be friends. I'm happy that at least in some way she is still in my life and that ,even though I hate admitting this, Zac treats her exactly how she deserves to be treated, like a queen. 

When I first saw them holding hands, I felt nauseous. I knew in that moment that I had lost her. I, of course, knew that Zac had a crush on her for the longest but because I knew that if he had her, he would never let her go I never said anything. Even when she had a crush on him, it was okay because she was in love with me and that was all that mattered. But then I fucked up and he got her. 

I get up from my bed and walk towards the window in my room. The sun is going down and there is a beautiful orange/pink color to the sky. I've become such a pussy recently, don't really hang out with my guy friends and most of the time I'm home thinking about Jen. I don't know why I torture myself when I know she is happy with Zac but I feel like deep down she is still in love with me. I look down at my phone and dial her number.

"Hello?" God I really am whipped, just hearing her voice makes my day. 

"Hey Jen, are you busy?"  I didn't know where I was going with this but I knew that I wanted to see her. 

"Uh no I'm not, what's up?"

"You think you can meet me at our old spot?" I wasn't sure if she should remember, I was really hoping she would. 

"You mean at the park?" I let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding and nodded, then I realized she couldn't see me,so I answered.

"Yeah, can you meet me ?" I could her hear her contemplate it.

"Yeah, be there in 10." I hung up and went to put on cologne. I was wearing black jeans and a blue t shirt with converse so I was fine. I put on the cologne that I knew she liked and grabbed my keys. I got to the park in like 5 mins and went to the spot under the trees where we use to come. I knew she would walk here because she lived pretty close. I pulled my legs up and laid my head in between my arms. 

The moon was reflecting on the lake right next to the trees. I found this spot about 6 years ago, whenever my parents would fight or I needed to get away from something I would come here. It was kind of secluded as it had bushes surrounding not really letting anyone see you and a lake right in front of it, with a view to the other side of the city. I brought Jen here for one of our anniversaries because I wanted to share my special place wit here. Then whenever we were both mad and couldn't find each other we would come here. I don't know if she ever came back but I did , every week. Even everyday if I needed to.

I heard rustling behind me so I turned around just in time to see Jen emerge from the bushes. She was wearing dark red jeans with a black top and black combat boots. She looked beautiful. I got up and walked towards her to hug her.

"Hey."

"Hey is everything okay?" I nodded and said "Yeah I just wanted to hang out with you, haven't done that in a while." She nodded and smiled lightly. 

We both moved to sit down under the tree and sat in silence for a while just looking towards the lake. Then I looked towards her and admired her face. Her blue eyes where shining as if the moon was reflecting only on them. I guess she felt my gaze cause she turned towards me with a raised eyebrow. "Do I have something on my face?" I laughed and shook my head "Nope just looking at you." She laughed "As if you've never seen me before." 

"A million times and yet you still become more gorgeous." I saw her freeze and blush. I don't know what possessed me to say that to her but I knew that it was exactly what I wanted to say. I'm not too sure of how she is going to react but I was hoping it didn't lead to her like hitting me or something. 

"Always the flirt, aren't you?" She said to me with a smile on her face. I smiled back and put my hand through my hair. "Only with you Jen." She froze again and looked at me. "Luke...." I shook my head."Don't worry, I'm not trying anything, I know you're happy with Zac and I won't take that away from you." She nodded slowly and then looked towards the lake. It sounded like she whispered something so I said "Did you say something?" She looked at me again and said "I waited for you. You didn't even bother." I knew what she was talking about, of course. When we broke up the last time before Kiara, I told her we would work things out, but I never did and I then dated Kiara and she went with Zac. That month was hardest thing of my life, I decided not to get into her life because I knew I was going to ruin her. Jesus, even my thoughts make me act like a pussy. 

I sighed and said " I know, I'm sorry love. I just couldn't I knew I was going to hurt you and I decided to let you get over it before it got worse." She looked at me with extreme anger, her nostrils flaring , which showed me how truly pissed she was. This wasn't going the right way.

"You decided to let me get over it !? Who the hell are you to decided that Luke!? I fucking loved you and you thought that it was your choice whether I wanted to get hurt by you or not!? re you fucking retarded!? I didn't give a shit, I wanted you ! Whether it was for a couple months, weeks, I didn't care I just wanted to be with you. But you took that away from me,without even giving me a warning." 

I got up and started pacing around while pulling  a bit on my hair, finally I looked towards her again"Jen, don't take it that way. You know how much I love you, I just didn't want to make it worse for you. I did all I could so you didn't have to feel so much pain. I didn't want that!" 

She looked at me with wide eyes and her mouth open, I scrunched my eyebrows and looked at her confused. What the hell did I say now? I thought over what I said and winced. Fuck I basically said I still loved her, that's why she's looking at me that way. How the hell did I let that slip!? 

"How much you love me? You still love me?" She looked at me with the most confused face which just made her seem so much more beautiful. How could I lie to her? But the real question was, should I lie to her? I looked at her and studied her face. The answer came to my mind.

"Jen, I -"

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Hi guys! CLIFFHANGGEERRRRRRR lol I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter sorry that it's been so long.  cant really come up with a schedule as I go to school and its not always the same but ill try as soon possible. Hope you stick around for the next chapter and I hope your intrigued. Love youu guyyyss. Vote, comment, like share. anything is apreciated.

See you soon loveliess,

Jenny Xx