delivered

16

it's fifteen minutes to one in the morning when dan turns the lock of the apartment and stumbles in, ruffling his hair and removing his shoes. the house is silent today, no television and no sign of phil lurking in the kitchen or the living room or the corridors.

there is a microwaveable plate on the dining table which is covered, a note stuck on top filled from top to bottom in phil's sloppy handwriting, and dan sighs, biting his lip and removing his jacket like he usually does.

i'm guessing you'll come home late, considering the fact that you're trying so hard to avoid me. anyways, i'm really tired, i've been up until midnight but you're still not here so just eat this before you come to bed. sorry, if i was being offensive earlier. i didn't mean to hurt you. love you.

dan closes his eyes, crumpling the paper slightly in his fist before bringing his hand up to his forehead and tapping it harshly, trying to knock some sense into himself. why the hell did he do that? phil would never say anything about his parents that might hurt him, phil wasn't like that.

maybe it's just that he is too aware of the fact that phil's parents still care about phil, they are always there to support him while dan has no backbone.

he doesn't have his mother calling up and checking on him, or his father sending gifts to adrian to spoil him further. he doesn't get calls occasionally, random plans of lunch being made over mere phone calls, followed by a night of recollecting and talking about their lives like a family.

he feels slightly insecure, and after all these years he wished things would have gone differently. he has no idea how his parents are right now, if they are even alive.

he shakes the thought out of his head and uncovers the plate, finding some curry and boiled rice resting in a sloppy but appetising mess, and he is suddenly aware of how he missed dinner, even though chris had shoved a couple forkfuls of salad in his mouth.

twenty minutes later he is clearing his plate, resting it in the dishwasher and letting out a sigh of relief before patting his stomach and walking into his room. the lights are on, and phil is in his usual position on the right side, his body curled, lips parted and hair fanning all over his face, upper half covered with a plain white tshirt.

dan walks over to phil, pressing a kiss against his forehead like he usually does and brushing his hair back before getting changed into his signature black tshirt, stripping down so he is only in his boxers and he slips in next to phil, closer than he generally would before wrapping his arms tightly around the older boy's waist, pulling him closer and burying his face in the back of his neck.

"i'm sorry," he mumbles half heartedly, breathing deeply and phil shuffles slightly before backing into dan's grip, his hands holding dan's arms in place and dan's lips curve up a little before he kisses phil's shoulder, going up and kissing under his jaw, leaning over to switch off the lamp before nuzzling his face back into phil's neck.

"i love you," he speaks softly, lips brushing barely against the pale skin, and he lets out a soft sigh once he realises that phil is still asleep.

it's not like he would have said it back if he was awake either.

--
i torture you

(its a reference, i don't think u all are masochists pls don't bombard my message box)