delivered

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"phil-please don't do this i love-"

"don't say it," phil warns through gritted teeth, his pupils blown with both anger and hurt, and his cheeks flushed with a certain paleness as he refuses to look at dan, his breathing pattern losing rhythm every second he is in the presence of the brown haired boy.

the pain in his chest is expanding slowly, the dull ache spreading through his legs making him almost lose his balance and travelling all the way up to his head, an unbearable pinching behind his eyelids as he struggles to keep his eyes open.

the thought of dan letting someone else touch him is so foreign, phil's body is rejecting the idea to the point where his throat is closing up and his lungs and collapsing within his chest. he doesn't want to believe the words that slipped out of dan's mouth, he doesn't want to believe anything associated with dan from this point on.

"phil please," phil refuses to hear the desperation behind dan's tone, his voice is doing nothing but pushing phil further and if dan doesn't leave right now, phil is afraid that he'll do something that he'll regret.

"i would stop talking if i were you," phil snaps, trying to regulate his breathing and trying not to let the cracks of his heart seep into his voice. phil is so angry, so incredibly angry and he is minutes away from completely losing control. he hates himself more than he hates dan, he hates the fact that he ever fell in love with a person who is so inconsiderate towards his family.

"i-i will do anything, please phil don't-"

"just get out!" phil is breaking, his hand sweeping across the counter, causing the warm pan and the plates to fall down, the porcelain falling apart as soon as it touches the ground and dan jumps back slightly, tears continuing to fall from his eyes.

"i-i can't leave you like this-" the fact that dan is not agreeing to whatever phil was saying was causing the headache to magnify, and phil pinched the bridge of his nose.

"if you won't leave right now, i will," it wasn't a threat as much as it was a simple statement.

"how much time do you need?" dan hiccuped quietly. he had already caused a lot of damage, the last thing he wanted was for phil to storm out of the house and do something irrational.

"time? i don't need any time. you get the hell out of here, i don't want you to come back," phil snapped, beads of sweat forming on his forehead regardless of the low temperature.

"w-what? no, no no no, phil, you can't do this, what will i do without you? i can't live without you, and adrian? please phil let me-"

"i don't think adrian needs a shitty father like you, i will find someone else who actually deserves him," phil mutters ignorantly, his heart no longer breaking at the sight of tears on dan's flushed cheeks or the way his entire body was shaking. phil wanted to hurt dan as much as he has hurt him.

"you-you are divorcing m-me?" dan stammers, eyes wide as he tries to take a step towards phil but the glare phil shoots him is enough to make him retract back.

"i will do whatever i please, now get the hell out of here before adrian wakes up. if you try to ruin another thing in my family i swear to god-"

"i'll leave, i'm sorry," dan mumbled finally, wiping his cheeks with the back of his sleeves and moving out of the kitchen, his steps slow and uncoordinated. his entire body is weltering with an uncomfortable heat, and no matter how many times he drags the scratchy material of his jumper across his eyes, the tears just never seem to stop.

when he reaches their room and looks at the unmade bed and the pictures that he and phil had hung so happily once they had moved in, he breaks down all over again. his legs giving up as he falls to his knees and tries to catch his breath.

this is it.

--
sorry if this wasn't as heartbreaking as it was supposed to be :)