delivered

91

"tea?" adrian mumbles quietly as dan settles down onto one of the dining chairs, trying to control his urge of clearing up phil's mess that's cluttering the dining table. dan nods, cheeks flushed and eyes carrying bags of worry, and watches as adrian gives him an apologetic smile and disappears into the kitchen.

he can hear the faint chatter of the television, and the low buzz of the centralised heating, and the clinking of spoons in the kitchen from where he sits. he prefers this over the haunting silence of his hotel room, loud traffic bustling in the streets below and the temperature remaining low no matter how much dan turns up the heat. this apartment, however, is flushed with a certain warmth-along with cold silences-but still comforting enough for dan to not feel like he is suffocating.

"it's not as good as you make it, but it's okay i suppose," adrian places the mug on the coaster and dan smiles at him half heartedly, afraid that if he'll open his mouth he might choke on the sobs that he's been holding back.

"are you okay?" adrian mumbles quietly, his small hands reaching dan's shoulders comfortingly, and dan physically can't hold it back anymore, breaking down pathetically as he holds onto adrian, his cries muffled by the soft material of adrian's jumper.

"it's okay, everything will be fine," adrian doesn't know if he's convincing himself at this point, or his father who is trying to hold himself together in front of him. he has never witnessed his family being as anguished as it is right this moment-three hearts, and all of them broken in different ways.

"it's not, i messed up," dan's voice is barely above a whisper, words unstrung and sentences unstructured and he sniffles pitifully into adrian's shoulder, pulling away and wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. adrian only stares at him morosely, picking up the mug of tea from the coaster and handing it to dan, who continued to sniffle, stretching his fingers around the warm glass.

"you finish this, i'll get you something to eat okay?" adrian's question sounded more like a statement and dan shook his head in response.

"i'm not hungry,"

"please," adrian sighed. "don't do this,"

"but i really am not hungry," dan protested, highly skeptical as to whether he will be able to swallow anything down in the presence of that giant lump of guilt in his throat.

"you will be in a few minutes," adrian ignored his plea, and began to make his way back to the kitchen when dan stopped him again.

"wait! is-" dan gulped, his hold tightening around the girth of the cup. "is p-phil okay?"

"n-not really," adrian pursed his lips and walked away quickly, not wanting to hold a conversation about whether anyone in this house is okay or not, because all of them knew the answer, and neither of them were ready to accept it.

he made his way to the living room first, to ask if phil wanted anything as well, and when he walked in, phil was sitting there with his knees close to his chest and his head buried in his arms, the movie playing on the screen forgotten long ago.

"dad?" adrian mumbled cautiously, and phil hummed silently in response, keeping his head buried in his arms.

"d-do you want something to eat? i was making papa-" he snapped his mouth shut as soon as the word left the tip of his tongue. "i mean-"

"he's here?" phil lifted his head, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dull, and adrian bit his lip nervously before answering.

"yeah,"

"is he okay?" phil looked away as the question escaped from between his chapped lips, his arms tightening their hold around himself.

"um-" adrian wasn't expecting their conversation to go this way. "n-not really,"

"can you please go and sit with him for a while, he probably needs you right now," phil said softly, pushing all his hair off his forehead and letting his eyes fall shut, his back slumping lethargically against the backrest of the worn-out sofa.

"are you sure you'll be fine?" adrian asked one last time and phil opened his eyes for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"i sure can't get worse,"

--

yikes that was shitty

also thank u sm for 30k followers how did this even happen i really don't deserve this