delivered

81

"no phil i can't let you-"

"oh come on, this will look good on you, go try it on," phil's hand reached to the curve of dan's waist, pressing his fingers in the flesh gently as he handed dan the shirt, dan's cheeks flushing a light pink as he muttered something under his breath before making his way to the changing rooms.

dan's muscles were tensing up every second at the thought of facing phil, telling him that all his efforts of making things better are ultimately going to go to waste, that dan is not someone worth his time or his affection or the little hopeful smile phil kept giving him.

he looked over his shoulder momentarily, watching as phil's lips pulled into a thin line as his fingers skimmed over a few patterned shirts, the tip of his nose still holding the zenith colour from the cold. dan sighed, crumpling the soft fabric in his fists as he took faster steps towards the cubicles, quickly getting into one and locking the door behind.

he looked just as miserable as he thought he looked, his hair a mess of frizzy waves and his skin colourless and pale. lumps of tiredness and guilt settled in purple bags under his eyes and no matter how many times he licked his lips, they always appeared to be cracked.

he slumped against the door, dropping the shirt in his hand on the floor and running his fingertips along his face, the pads pressing into the skin of his forehead harshly to relieve the throbbing pain in his head. guilt was pooling rapidly, chaining dan's lungs into place to restrict them from breathing and birthing lumps to settle down under his tongue so he is unable to speak.

"dan, which one are you in?" phil's voice was soft as it bounced off the walls of the small cubicle and dan opened his mouth to reply but was afraid that he might choke on the giant lump in his throat- so he resorted to simply tapping his knuckles twice against the door to let phil know.

"did you try it on?" phil's voice was clearer now and dan stared at the black piece of clothing on the floor, quickly replacing his jumper with the chiffon material. he didn't like the way the thin fabric clung to the dips in his waist or how it exposed his collarbones just the tiniest bit-his confidence had completely drained and his self esteem was blustering on the last of its flames.

maybe it was just in his head, but he felt like covering his body as much as possible, even the slightest amount of skin visible made him feel self-conscious about nothing in particular, and he pursed his lips before adjusting the collar and heaving out a sigh, unbolting the door so he can show phil what it looks like.

he peeked his head outside the cubicle, watching as phil's eyes averted from his shoes towards dan, a small smile stretching across his lips.

"well come on out, show me," phil beckoned and dan flushed yet again, biting his lip and shaking his head meekly.

"can you come closer, i don't want people to see ," dan muttered and phil furrowed his eyebrows, looking around and finding no one in sight.

"but there's no one here,"

"still," dan pressed, embarrassment blooming on his cheeks once phil sighed and stepped closer, pushing open the door and standing at the threshold so he could see. his hands reached out to fix dan's collar, his fingers running down his torso to feel the material before he smiled and let his eyes meet dan.

"you look really good," phil kept himself from saying how much he wanted to peel this shirt off dan's body and kiss him. he could see the material clinging onto every curve on dan's body, accentuating his lean shoulders and exposing the creamy skin of his neck. phil wouldn't want dan to leave the house in his shirt.

"stop lying," dan pressed against phil's chest slightly, trying to push phil out so he can lock the door and get dressed back into his normal clothes, but phil just furrowed his eyebrows for a second time, grabbing dan's hand and pulling him forward.

"why would you think i'm lying?" phil glanced around for a good measure before shutting the door close and leaning against it, pulling dan closer so he could wrap his arms around dan's waist, their chests almost touching as the younger tried to recoil.

"i-i don't know, i don't like the way this looks on me, it's just, it's very, i don't know, exposing," dan turned around, examining himself again in the mirror and frowning at the sight of himself, almost missing the way phil's eyes were raking down his body, his expression unreadable.

"and what's so wrong with that?" phil let his back off the door, his hands snaking around dan's waist and pulling dan's back flush against his front, his lips pressing gentle kisses on his exposed shoulder. "you have nothing to hide,"

"phil," dan wasn't sure if he was asking him to stop or keep going. he wanted phil to stop because the guilt of doing this with him after he has already done this with someone else will break phil's heart, and he wanted him to keep going because he had no idea when he will be able to feel phil this way after he tells phil what he has done.

phil's mouth moved along the curve of dan's neck, placing open mouthed kisses against the soft flesh, teeth barely grazing the surface and he could feel dan tense up and relax all at once in his grip. in the mirror, he could see the way the colour had returned to dan's cheeks, his bottom lip caught tight between his teeth and his eyes hooded as he watched phil continue his assault.

"god we're gonna get kicked out if you continue," dan pressed further into phil, his head falling back and hitting phil's shoulder and phil's fingers tightened their hold on dan's hips, kisses leading up to the back of dan's ear and ending with a small nibble on his earlobe.

"maybe we can continue this later then,"

--

sorry if this is shitty kms
also writing this is hurting me, my poor philcakes :(